Creative Corner

Let your mind run wild. This is for all of you to be able to write and let others see your thoughts, your concerns, your insecurities, your hopes etc. Write a poem, a letter to your addiction or to the loved ones you've hurt. Write that letter to the addict in your life. It's up to you! Soon you will also have the ability to upload your artwork and songs that you've created.

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My disease addiction I

I am an addict and i am 16 years old. I grew up around addicts so I always knew of the drugs. I hated them, I saw heroin steal my mothers soul, my cheecks turning red when she began to nod off in front of the social worker at visits with little sister, driving askin mama to keep her eyes open " the house is just down the street ", finding bloody needles in my room, she must have forgot them there when I asked her to stay with me till I fell asleep. The foil crinkling and burning a smell so sweet always wondered what mama was doing as I sat in the back seat, I just knew what she was doing was taking her from me. I thought it was okay cause I had one stable parent, at least I thought. Dad would drink and go out a lot. He began to stay up more than often and I could tell something was wrong, he was always in deep thoughts, looking at him made me sad. It got worse when he got into a shooting. He started staying up all night listening quietly to every noise in the house then rushing into my room shaking me awake because he hears someone in the closet or bathroom. Flashing lights on me while I slept asking me if I was alright. I felt abandoned, how could the two people I love leave me for the streets and drugs. That's what kept me away from them. Then one day my friend wanted to try smoking meth. I remember when she told me I felt confused, I thought she hated it like we talked about. The guy we stayed with let her smoke from his bubble that day and I sat and watched, I never had the urge to try the drug until that moment 7 months ago and now I am addicted to meth. oh now I get it mom and dad. Look now I'm addicted too I understand why you act like you do. But now im smoking so much dope i don't know if it will stop it even happens in my sleep. I'm losing all my hope, my boyfriend is locked up he keeps begging me to pray he gets less time for his robbery he's only 17. I lied and said I would pray but I quit praying when no one seemed to hear my crys at night asking the lord to bring back my old life when we still had my sister, when mama was smiling all the time, and when dad took me to a movie every single week the easy days when I never touched the tweak 

Posted: 03/10/2017 4:23 AM

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Good bye letter not a suicide letter but to my drug of choice
Dear miss slow AKA heroin This is day one I can finally put my thoughts of you on paper. My Jail sentence is we're we began. Like a kid drawn to a new shinning toy but you took the form of a needle. You pierced through life's tough times like you pierced my veins. Helped me not to feel the emotional pain of being an absent father, helped me forget about my daughter. Where I was the taste of freedom or even strive to get it for starters. Miss slow you helped me through the holiday receiving pictures of my family free without me. Anytime I did not want to feel I just think of you and you became real. You were always there in my corner like a coach in my ear. Miss slow you got rid of my fears of failure and success at the same time multitasking with the same mind. Still you were more then a blanket you were a comforter. Who would cover me when I was cold so cold as I took my last breath from an OD so numb even though death. Miss slow we're you really there for me? That's a rhetorical question I know the answer to that "hell no"! Miss slow you were actually there to say good bye to me but before you rid of me I will get rid of you. I'm taking back my life, the memory's that you stole, the feeling I forgot to feel down deep inside my sole. With my feelings not trapped they begin emerge and has helped me become a good man,brother,father,husband. So forget you Miss slow I won't let you take up my time your not my wife I'm saying bye your out of my life. It's not the end, I'm telling you good riddance for today even though the cravings might stay. I will fight you day to day even if I have to put a kick me sign on your back Miss slow. Better then to say it's forever I will say bye to you even in stormy wethers that rain down on my life and every single day. It isn't over until I grow old and god sees it fit to rest my sole. Guess what? I won't die with you today Now living in peace with out you Miss slow I'm here to stay. G.L.L

Posted: 08/01/2015 11:51 AM

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another day
Another day, without my loved one here. Another day of sadness, but can no longer shed a tear. Another night of wrestles sleep, the dreams are so disturbing. Another night of wrestling, of tossing, and turning. Another day slips swiftly by, it has drifted into a year. Another day this addiction, has somehow commend eared. Another day,I feel, a part of me has died. Yet somehow in this zombie state, I try to stay alive. Another day, I awake, for the sun has risen. For most, it is filled with promise. To me it is a prison. Another day, I try, and keep my head and hopes held high. Another day, I pray and ask, "Lord is my loved one still alive?" Another day, has come, and night will surely wait. The moon has come, along with it, the dreadful thoughts I hate. My dearest loved, my darling one, making the most painful of mistakes.

Posted: 06/11/2014 8:47 AM

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the things I hate and love
The things I hate are these. I hate q tips or little fuzz balls on my carpet, I hate those clear opaque colored bic pens I have thrown out many because at a glimpse they look like a syringe, I threw out my AD desk chair as I would here it creek when her or boyfriend would nod in it. I hated her glass top desk as that is where things were cut. I hate seeing a small jar with water in it. I hate those water jugs that hold about a quart of water the sound of the chugging from it. I cringe when I see a dark spot on a wall for all given reasons. I love that I now know that these feelings and thoughts will fade as a lot of other things have. I love that I am slowly healing. I love that my house is calm. I love that I do not have odd people coming into my driveway all hours of the night or into my home. I love that I no longer have drugs in my home, at least to the best of knowledge. I love that I have had time to paint my house inside. I love that I sleep soundly at night and take naps when I can. I like that I have time to do things that I have needed to do. Time to do things I like to do. I like that I am not walking on egg shells. I like that I am getting closer to my lil girl. I like that I laugh from time to time again. Sometimes I laugh really hard. I love that me and lil girl laugh and we are goofy. I love the fact that my money is not being swindled out of me for drugs. I love that I am comfortable enough to sleep with my windows open again. I love that I am no longer afraid of any of my AD people (sometimes I will get a random phone call for AD) and have no problem telling them that if they come here or call they will be sorry they ever did. I am happy that I have made friends with teachers, police officers, and I really like my AD probation officer and I made friends with a bonds lady. I am gaining respect in the community and speak out against drugs and violence. I am planning on getting more involved with the schools and community to teach drug awareness. I love that I am getting my own identity back! I HATE what I allowed to be taken from me and love that I see I am strong enough to find me again!

Posted: 05/24/2014 6:19 PM

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my thoughts out loud...

 my thoughts out loud... 3/17/14

 
It has been over 3 years since I wrote the first version of "my thoughts out loud", and all I can say is, "WOW", how different everything is, and, for the better.  After re-reading the previous articles I wrote, the first one so heart gripping, it brought back all the emotional feelings I had of despair and doom for my son.  He is the son I remember as a little boy, and now the man that I am so proud of, he has become a man of confidence, respect, leadership, compassion, and giving back to others of his experienced wisdom. 
 
Even after a year of him being sober and clean, I still would get nervous and anxious of not hearing from him every day or even if I did hear from him and if he was going through anxiety, I would wonder how he would handle it, so afraid it would put him back in the tailspin of addiction.  But, with tribulations that life threw at him in the last 3 years, he kept his emotions in tact, worked his recovery as he did within the first year of sobriety, re-charge so to speak with his groups of support in the community he lives in and with his family and friends.  I can now go a couple of days without talking to him and not panic and stress as I always did.  I even call on him with questions of certain drugs and their effects when someone would question me with concerns knowing Hunter, my son, had been living clean and sober as a recovering addict.  If, I had to surmise of what has helped him, guided him through his recovery, I would say it is the fact, that he is giving back, striving for his goal to become an active leader and as an occupation in aiding others with the struggles of recovering addiction.  His work ethic has always been pretty good, but, now sober, it is so rewarding and amazing for him, and for others, that benefit from him and for me as his mother, surely, a grateful and proud mother I am.  Hunter has become a recognized leader in his community as well as the organization of Oxford for which he still resides at an Oxford house, but, known throughout the organization including the founder of Oxford.
 
So, if anyone who reads this, is a mother, family member, or friends of an addict struggling through the journey of agonizing addiction, I hope this may bring you hope and reassurance that it can travel towards a new and positive direction.  Even, if "your addict" relapses, don't give up, they can still recover and work back to living sober.
 
To my son, you have made me proud beyond the words I can write, my love for you will shine through your journey and for life, just know with your hard work, the opportunities can be endless.  To all other readers, there is hope, and living proof of serene sobriety.  And, I leave you with, "my thoughts out loud" ...

Posted: 03/20/2014 12:59 PM

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LIFECOACH
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My Aunt's Baptism Poem, 27 yrs. ago

On the occasion of the Sacrament of Baptism for Patrizia, my Aunt ever the artist/poet wrote this for the announcement . I'm a journalist, but I don't write like this!


"What mo
re could one ask
Than the gift of a child-
Wrapped in clouds and mauve ribbons
and so lovingly styled-
A gift that grows dearer
With each rainbowed day-
And brings laughter and tears
And stars out to play-
A gift that shines bright and never grows dim
A gift of pure magic-
God's gift to Kim-
The cymbals will clash
And the flags are unfurled
It's Trisha-dear Trisha
Bright child of two worlds!"

-MLL

 

Posted: 02/15/2014 7:24 PM

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Fatal Heroin/Fentanyl Combo

Dozens of addicts in Maryland & Pennsylvania have perished chasing an, as usual, new high. CBS News

Posted: 02/01/2014 12:07 PM

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Passing time ( a poem)
The summer sun filled sky has gone faded gently to a smokey grey the warmth has drifted gently by with a shorter day the air is colder, leaves floating away in the wind. Another mile marker, has been ushered in. The rosey cheeks long faded into a dim pasty grey. Your eyes that were filled with sunshine have been darkly painted away. Consumed and engulfed without lifes hope. Dimly lit,and darkly shrouded.Clouded by the dope. Misery fills your mind and pains so many hearts. Groping for anything, but you can not find it in the dark. Autumn has past us by and now the winter draws so near. Another changing season that nearly brings me to tears. The darkness rolls in earlier, the nighttime brings an end. Another day without you here, my daughter and best friend. The stores are lit cheerfully with wreaths and tidy bows, music fills the airways, with songs of love and hope. In my eyes, all I see, is a theatrical play, with me walking through it all, not feeling any of those things. I never give up the thought of you returning back to me, wanting to seek help and wanting it eagerly. I wait in anticipation of the day you will come home, turning away from the destruction, that horrible broken road. I walk in my own journey, baby steps down a path That will bring me towards serenity, through the aftermath. Each broken piece I believe God will gently bind, putting it back together, finally bringing me peace of mind. I learned to see some light in the winter sky, I have found a bit of warmth and have learned not to cry. I am learning to live again, as I wait for your return And my heart will always anticipate and secretly yearn. With each day I shed a small passing tear. Because, for me each day, has slowly slipped into a year. It may be one more day, months or maybe longer, but with each passing day my love for you still thrives and we each shall grow stronger.

Posted: 11/30/2013 8:45 AM

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LIFECOACH
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Quote from somewhere I can't remember

" Friends help you find things when you have lost them, your smile. your courage, your hope."

Thank you all for being here...its nice to have friends who can relate to our situations.

Posted: 10/26/2013 7:11 AM

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Dear God can you hear me?
Dear Lord, Hi. I do not know if you can hear me. Sometimes I think my prayers hit the ceiling at night when I cry to you. Maybe you have me on hold or mute because I talk nonstop to you all day. Please hear my plight to you. My child is in trouble. I know you were there when she was born, as I felt a piece of heaven wash over me when I heard her first cry. I know that you must remember us. I still love her today as much, if not more than the day she was born. I have talked to you before about her addiction to drugs. I know that was not your will for her life. it was not mine either. I can not save her, this I know. As she falls deeper into the pits of darkness I know that only you can help her. Please God, if you will just incline your ear to hear my desperation to help her. She is not only addicted, but she is also sick with some type of blood infection. I can not help her. She is beyond Dr. Mom type of care. Vicks and cough syrup will not help her. My tender touch can not reach her as she is in jail now. Please let her feel your love. Dear God in Heaven, please give me the strength to endure this heartache. Please allow me to breath and keep me of sound mind as I walk through this hell on earth. God, please help the many others that have been tormented by this relentless devil called drugs. Please help wipe my tears and help me to find joy and peace again. I thank you for the wonderful supportive people that you and only you have put into my life during this time. God, Please let me know you care for us. Please work a miracle in my childs life that she would be delivered from this evil evil monster of drugs. Please allow her mind, body and soul to be one again. Please God, so many others are dying from this evil. Please help the loved ones of addicted children to find solace. Allow us to find the answer within ourselves to let you care for our children. Help us to walk in your love, wisdom, and forgiveness. Please God, help us. God? Can you hear me?

Posted: 10/20/2013 9:04 PM

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