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AskanAddict.com is intended to provide addiction support and advice in a non-judgmental way so that the addict or anyone else that's been affected by an addict will know there are many who understand and eliminate the feeling of being alone. Ask an Addict knows it may be hard to talk with family and friends as many times they just don’t understand. Many have fractured those important relationships in life during active addiction. When it comes to seeking information, likeness, and establishing a strong recovery program who better to ask then someone who has been there! At Ask an Addict we listen and learn, together. Whether your an addict, a recovering addict or have been affected by an addict, we all have that common denominator of addiction.

If I had to use one word to describe our members, it would be the word compassion. (sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it)

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I don't know what to do I need advice
I don't even know where to begin. I know this is long but it would mean a lot if people could listen. I have been with my boyfriend now for going on two years. Things were great for the longest time. Last year I became pregnant and we moved into our own place. We had a beautiful baby boy in the fall. Things have went to **** now though. In summer I found out that he had been using prescription pills. There were times I just asked him straight up and he lied to my face. I eventually had proof because he left a text on my phone asking a buddy if he could find any pills. I confronted him on it and made the point of how the baby and me should be most important, not pills. This whole town that we live in is full of addiction and it's sickening. I've seen people ruin their lives because of it and I want no part in it. He agreed to stop doing it and said that he wasn't addicted or doing it everyday. The problem is that some of his coworkers and family and "friends" do it too. So things were okay for maybe a month or two and I started noticing the same behaviors as before. Lies, having to leave the house in the morning for multiple reasons, money missing, huge fights over me accusing him of using. We'll eventually I had enough of it and sat him down three weeks ago and told him that he was disrespecting me and insulting my intelligence by continuing to use and lie. He fessed up to using again and said that he knows me and the baby are going to leave if he doesn't stop. He said he would stop even if we left. He still claims that he isn't addicted and that its just a couple times a week. Well anyways I agreed to give him one last chance and made it very clear that I would leave no questions asked if he did it again. He agreed to do random drug tests if that would help our relationship. I'm trying to give him the Benefit of the doubt because he seems really genuine this time. The last time I didn't feel secure with his plan to quit and I did not believe him at all. The thing I'm having trouble with is the fact that he has to be around these people that do pills all the time. He said he told everyone that he quit just so they would know. He has said that he knows he ruined everything in our relationship and that the pills are not worth losing me and his son. I don't know how to go about doing the drug tests. He used Vicodin and tramadol and I'm pretty sure those won't show up on a simple at home drug test so I would have to get more expensive ones. I also know that those pills only stay in your system for a couple days. I'm just not sure right now.. My gut feelings are usually right. Some things are still throwing up red flags to me and I'm not sure if I'm just being overly observant or paranoid. I don't know how to deal with this. I've been having severe anxiety and depression because of this. My heart is broken and I don't understand why he chose pills over me and baby. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Posted: 02/24/2015 11:24 PM

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Latest Confession
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It's a family Affair

We were at a funeral service for my former MIL.  My former husband, father of my children, recovering alcoholi ( over 20 years sober) was there, and so was his younger  brother, active alcoholic. We ( brother-in-law and I)had not seen each other for many years, although we live withing 5 miles.  It took me only 5 minyes and we were talking about alcohol, AA, where he was going with his life.  And wouldn't you know it, I was riight back in the groove:  the co-dependant, must -save-this- drunk's -life through- confrontation  *****.  It was as easy as falling off a log.

All I can do now is shake my head in disbelief. Is it really that easy?  It is for me.   Don't leave me alone with any addict.  I will try to fix them, right then and there.


Posted: 02/25/2015 7:51 PM

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