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K. Fitzgerald
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Welcome to Ask an Addict

AskanAddict.com is intended to provide addiction support and advice in a non-judgmental way so that the addict or anyone else that's been affected by an addict will know there are many who understand and eliminate the feeling of being alone. Ask an Addict knows it may be hard to talk with family and friends as many times they just don’t understand. Many have fractured those important relationships in life during active addiction. When it comes to seeking information, likeness, and establishing a strong recovery program who better to ask then someone who has been there! At Ask an Addict we listen and learn, together. Whether your an addict, a recovering addict or have been affected by an addict, we all have that common denominator of addiction.

If I had to use one word to describe our members, it would be the word compassion. (sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it)

Latest Question
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Questioning my reaching out
I'm back. Last I wrote, my son had gotten out of rehab and starting smoking crack again in just a few days. The beat has gone on as before, until a week and a half ago, when he was arrested. A woman was banging on his door, he wouldn't let her in. A neighbor called the police, who came out. The woman began yelling, "He has drugs in there." The police found the drugs and paraphernalia, took him off to jail, and he posted his own bond of $8,000, and was released, to be arraigned in a couple of weeks. About three weeks ago, I texted him and asked him if he would respond with just a one or two word text if I called him every other day to see if he was okay. I have been doing this every other day, and he has been responding with one or two words, mostly negative, but at least I know he's alive. He doesn't know I know he was arrested, or that I know any details of the arrest. His brother told me, and the rest is public record. My son lives in the south, and I am in Maine, so I don't drive by or do any of the painful things that I did when we all lived in the same town in California. Yesterday, he responded to my text with, "Rehab next week." This will be #7, and it may well be because he thinks the judge will look upon him more kindly if he is showing some attempt at recovery. My question is: Are my texts, asking him if he is okay and done for my peace of mind, hurting him, or enabling him, preventing him from hitting bottom? I am so grateful for his responses, but most of all, I want him to do what he needs to do to get into recovery. I would so appreciate input on this. Thanks, MM

Posted: 08/24/2015 8:50 PM

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Latest Confession
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The Test

Today, my sister in law send me the message I have been dreading for years:  my brother had suffered the big stroke, the one ffrom which there is no coming back.  He is in palliative care, in a coma adn will not return from it.  I huge hole has opened up in my life. Large voids are the one dangerous thing for me.  I don't do well with voids, the darkness, the loss.  I want to go and fill it up with one good fix of morphine, heroin, opium.  I don't care which. 

My brother and I grew up in the camp in post-war Germany.  We had the same experiences, we saw the grief and the want and the need of the people coming from the East.  We made due.  We strove for better times and circumstances. We wanted our parents to be heroes or at le ast innocent of the atricities. in the past.  We wanted to be heroes ourselves..

My brother was the only person who knew about my morphine addiction.  He brished it off like a slightly embarrassing disease one does not talk about.  He understood that I had to live and immigrate to make the transition.  He came to visit one year and loved what he saw, but not my life.

I am the oldest and the smartest but he always wasd ahead of me. He had a certain flair with women.  His wives adord him.  His sons worked hard to live up to his standards. 

He adored me, but he did not know me anymore in the end. .  I keep thinking that that is my reward for going straight.

If I had a hit of heroin right now, I would cook it op and shoot it.  Or maybe two hits.

I miss him already/.



Posted: 09/02/2015 5:39 PM

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