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AskanAddict.com is intended to provide addiction support and advice in a non-judgmental way so that the addict or anyone else that's been affected by an addict will know there are many who understand and eliminate the feeling of being alone. Ask an Addict knows it may be hard to talk with family and friends as many times they just don’t understand. Many have fractured those important relationships in life during active addiction. When it comes to seeking information, likeness, and establishing a strong recovery program who better to ask then someone who has been there! At Ask an Addict we listen and learn, together. Whether your an addict, a recovering addict or have been affected by an addict, we all have that common denominator of addiction.

If I had to use one word to describe our members, it would be the word compassion. (sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it)

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"Like a Mom to me" (drug addict thief)

I feel so foolish, I became friends recently with a young young man who had a drug problem that I was totally unaware of. By the time all was said and done, he stole approximately 200 pills or more in a 5 week period and a number of rings which can never be replaced. 

He ended up getting caught last week out of sheer stupidity (asked to buy when I started hiding them).  He would never have copped to it until I had him backed into a corner so tight that he knew that he would be arrested    

My dilemma is arrest to bring about  court ordered treatment or let his family handle this?  He's 41 yrs old, lost his father & sister to addiction within the past 2 years.  I don't think they will do anymore than put him in outpatient program and based on what he has stolen, he was probably taking 90 mg or more per day of oxys.  He has 3 children  

I don't want this family destroyed but if I don't go with court ordered, he is pretty smooth and with my limited knowledge, without court ordered I know he will relapse  

We connected due to a group to help the homeless in my town, which I recently started in memory of my son who I lost to a period of homelessness and addiction.  If it were my own son, I would have done the tough love  route.  

This man was willing to sit here and not only watch me suffer in pain because I ran out of meds that I needed, but after he was caught I had his wife asking, "what are you doing with pain meds anyway?", but he watched as I almost ruined a relationship with my landlord of 4 years and who has also been a friend for 10 yrs  because the landlord has a key; he knew every time I entered alone, I was scared to death  

What is the right thing to do for him to get help and for me to feel right about all this?  The betrayal is the worst 

This is breaking my heart!  



Posted: 02/08/2016 4:42 PM

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And the Oscar goes to..

My son, now 29, went into an excellent program on October 8. He was there for 30 days and we saw great changes physically, and seemingly intellectually and spiritually as well. Justin was talking the talk and walking the walk. 

He was released to a sober house that for the first time he secured startup payment for. During this time, my mother died 6 weeks after my father. My daughter was married out of town 6 days after my mom died. It was a whirlwind of emotions and having Justin on this path felt like the greatest blessing. 
He found a job he seemed to like. He seemed happy, stable & at peace. We offered to pay co-pays for his psychiatrist and any depression meds. We spent Christmas together as a family the first time in 3 years, the first peaceful time in 8. He came with us to our nephew's wedding out of town..we stayed together in the hotel. We had many discussions of his recovery process and why this time was different. He seemed determined and healthy. 
I saw the first cracks in this at the wedding in early January. My other kids noticed his "squirrelly" behavior. He kept leaving the wedding to go back to the room. Upon our return he started to seem much more like his "old" self. He was sullen, impatient and full of complaints. His job wasn't working, his roommate was pressuring him about caring for things in the apartment(he was living in a shared apartment because the sober house was full of "criminals"). He couldn't attend certain meetings because he was being "badgered for money" by homeless people..and so on.
Soon, he started on us. Asking about my parent's estate..he took some coins that my dad was collecting that belonged to the estate. He demanded a "stipend" from the estate monies so he could relocate somewhere warm. It became painfully clear that the last 3 months had all been an act to get close to what he perceived was inheritance money (I am executor). 
The thing is, my parents did very well as working class people..but that is what they were. The estate is being split 3 ways and he is one of 7 grandchildren. I guess he thinks he's quite special, deserving of a stipend. 
To sum up, he lost his job. He lost his apartment. He has been badgering and threatening all of us again. I am now getting the phone calls again..the last one he said he was going to decapitate himself on the train tracks if we didn't run $300 to him immediately. We didn't. It is frightfully cold again and I told him to get to a shelter. He told me again they were "all filled up," which we know to be a lie. He said he has frostbite over 30% of his body. It's the same old, same old. His roommate wrote my daughter a note and said that he feels bad but that Justin had been drinking & using the whole time & it was escalating. 
All we can do is prepare now. Something has to give. He has been in active addiction for at least 8 years now. He lied about everything. He had not been seeing a psychiatrist, not been taking meds, not been doing the recovery activities he seemed so proud of the last few months.
I am devastated he fell back to the streets. I refuse to go back there with him. He has to figure this out now or not. No hotels, no quick cash, no rides, no whipping post. 

Posted: 02/13/2016 8:34 AM

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