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About Me

Since i was about 16, I smoked pot on a regular basis.  I was really big into the techno scene and ectasy, special k and acid were the weekends. Other then pot, I on;ly did the others on the weekends. I went to school and worked just like I was supposed to. After high school I went to work full time and still did the same thing. I would do come coke here and there but nothing was ever a problem. For years,. it was like this and I was pretty happy. When I turned 26, heroin came into the picture. It was love after the first snort. For about 2 1/2 years I snorted it. As I snorted it, things started going down hill. I was getting caught at work, my money was being spent so fast and I wasn't living like i was.  Then comes shooting it up. That was about 2 to 3 years. During the heroin years, I lost everything. My cars, my job, all my money. We were living with friends and family and it sucked. Keeping up the lies was stressful enough. We knew we had a prblem but heroin is the devil. It sucks you in and it is so hard to let it go. After years of quitting and going back, one day after being on methodone for about 4 months, it all kind of clicked. I was at a level of methodone that was holding me and I started to live a normal life again. I tried suboxone a few times, but I always went back. Methodone, I have to say, has been the one thing that  worked. I'm still on it, but I'm detoxing off of it and have been for a while now. I have had a tastes of both worlds. I world of addiction and a world with a good life. As much as heroin takes over your life, it is a total possibility to come off it. It takes a few tries usually, but it can be done. Living with no addictions it so much easier then living with them.  I don't find anything wrong with having a few drinks socially, or even some wine to end the day. But, a full on addiction is like having another job. It's a daily grind you have to go through everyday. You wake up and feel like complete crap, you have to find money to get the dope, and that's not easy sometimes and then you have to go and get the dope. It's a hard life. I'm not where I want to be yet, but one thing at a time. Someday, I'll be the person I want to be. And someday, everything will work out and heroin with be a total thing in my past.