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Cocaine.
Hi, I've been with my husband for 11 years and I have suspected in the last year that he has been trying coke every once in a while. Recently in the last few months I think it has gotten worse. We recently seperated a month ago for other reasons than that. He recently admitted that he has tried it twice which no offense but I definitely don't believe it's twice. He said he hasn't did anything in over a month. The friends we have do coke and molly and stuff on most weekends and he is madly obsessed with them. Anyways I really suspect he is doing coke way more now. He gets really mad when I have asked him how many times he's done it. He said I don't need to know its not even important. I'm his wife actually it is. Anyways the only thing I have to go off of is he just seems different. I have been finding bloody tissue in our garbage here when he comes home, he has been habing a runny nose for 3 months straight, he's had blood **** eyes a few times. He kind of goes to the restroom a bit more and I keep finding pens around. They are normal but the pen cap looks like it has had powder in it. I just have a gut feeling with how rude and different he has been. It is ruining everything between us. Please let me know if yall think those are signs. Thanks!!

Posted: 01/09/2017 7:00 PM

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Crack addiction
My sons addiction to crack has been ongoing for many years.May 2016 he suffered a heart attack.within 2 weeks of discharged he used again.up until nov 20216 he stayed clean for 6 monthes,following yet another rock bottom period.My son has a loving familly,and supirt him all we can.But i can not see an end to this heartach.This is a breif insite,into a son whom is killing himself.And a familly so desparate.we wait for that dreaded call day after day.He has been going to meetings on and off for years.He is 39 devorsed and a daughter of 11.my son is self employed,and has a very good income.He works hard to maimtain his addiction.His last rock bottom period,left him with no choice but to com and live with me.I have a very small one bed flat,so he had to share my bed.This was demoralising for him.And was a strong motivation for him to stay clean,save a deposite for a rented flat.During this 8 weeks,i done everything for him.I thanked god for my son coming back to me,and i saw,all the feelings returning,all the love came back.And thoes 8 weeks,were just wonderful.I loved looking after him,waiting on him,his clenliness gradully returned,and started to buy new clothes"he use to love his desighner lables".He never missed a meeting,and never let me down once.Ow i was so proud of him.And never did i stop showing how much i loved him,and how proud i was of him.But underneath,i was dreading,the day,he moved into rented accomadation"that was trully lovly".I wanted him to stay with me for ever.I just loved every miniut.Hee is still in his lovly rented cottage,.But he is bang on the crack pipe again,and the devil on his sholder is back with vengants.My son,has always been truthful with me"regarding his addiction.And I am very street wise,regarding addiction to the crack pipe.So i am very aware,of all the consiquen,s of this drug.So i do realise,that no one can help my son.So i sapose,the truth is,i just needed to talk to someone out there who understands me.And there must be thousands of mums out there suffering as i am.And feeling so helpless,and there hearts are not boken,but shatred into so many peices.AND MUST ASK"AS I DO"WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END.I HOPE THIS SHOWS THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Posted: 01/09/2017 9:47 AM

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Missing everyone ...

Dear friends: come back.  I stopped positing when there was some sort of computer glitch.  But things are ok now at least with the computers. So posting is easy again.  Please do so.  Say hello. 

 

Posted: 01/07/2017 6:55 PM

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Co-morbid conditons

My son says he has been "sober" for 30 days, and in fact he does seem more focused than he has been for years.  He claims not to have much of a craving for marijuana, possibly because he is in a supportive environment and receiving medication.  His treatment for addiciton will continue, but he has not been referred to another 30-day program on account of mental health issues.  His medications are being micro-managed and I have a hunch they are for bi-polar disorder.  The newest is Abilify.  Co-morbid conditions with bi-polar are of course depression, but also substance abuse, ADHD, sleeplessness and even Diabetes.  Why?  Does anyone have any experience with this or know of an organization like Ask An Addict for bi polar people and their families?  I'd actually thought he might be bi-polar a few years ago, but rejected the idea because I've never seen him "elated," which is how the manic phase is described often.  I've since been told the way he focuses on video games with such intensity might be his equivalent to "elated."  He has an application for disability pending and I'm afraid of of the future.  I have yet to speak to anyone at the hospital where he's being treated.  The new mental health program starts in two days.

 

Posted: 01/07/2017 6:38 PM

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Anger and Grief

Even if my son were to "recover" totally from his drug abuse and associated mental health problems now that he is in a program, the losses willlast forever.  First, he has lost about 15 to 20 years of productive life, the years he should have been working toward economic self sufficiency, bulding life-time friendships, understanding life and himself, the world and his place in it, becoming comfortable in his own skin.  Second, I have lost the same number of years of contentment, satisfaction, and pride in his accomplishments.  He and I, in our minds, can envision a parallel life, the life he could have had.  The images may not be exactly the same, but both involve our fantasy of "the good life," whatever that may be.  Certainly, it's not what he's been having.  I sense his remorse and anger and I feel my own.  I think his remorse and anger endanger his recovery, but maybe I'm wrong.  What I see in myself is the same denial I've had for a long time, the craving for the happier parallel life, the anger over the injustice of what I've got instead, the fear of early death or my death while he remains in constant crisis.  In general, I have a hard time with grief.  I am more comfortable with anger because, in other contexts, it has given me the will to live.  But now, it's not so helpful.  I still feel bad even thinking of looking at his baby pictures, the childhood pictures.  I was a good photographer, and there was a time when I just loved opeing up those books.  There was a later time when I couldn't even bear to look at other people's children in the park playing.  I was SO depressed, so sorry, so blocked as I coped with crisis after crisis. Maybe the worst of those days are behind me, but they will never go away.  If anyone has any ideas about how to move forward, I would very much like to hear them. Stages of grief?  Am I moving toward acceptance?  I would still like to imagine that he could be a part of the family but I know his sister has made a life without my son; her husband is not likely to ever want to even see him; her daughter may never meet her uncle.  Death threats and restraining order stuff.  I guess I'll be spending Christmas Eve with him and Christmas with them in different cities for the rest of our lives.  I'm sorry to think of him always alone on that day.  It's like there's been a sibling divorce and the parents are in a custody dispute.  But I can't blame her; she saved him from diabetic coma a couple times yet he thinks she's been his enemy from the day he was born.  I grieve for the family that could have been, that once seemed to be so promising.  Really.

 

Posted: 12/28/2016 12:25 PM

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What do you think this is?
My brother has not been himself for a long time. Yesterday my mom was cleaning his room and found a piece of foil under his pillow. My ex used to smoke heroin, but this looks and smells different. It smells like burnt sugar almost, is a rusty color, and flakes away from the foil. He takes adderall, but I know he takes much more than prescribed. My mom started searching and found a box with loose supplement stuff he bought online (stimulants), a scale, and empty capsules. I honestly thought he was maybe doing heroin because of the way he looks, and how he behaves sometimes. But this is all stimulant stuff as far as I can tell. Can anyone give me insight? I want to get him help.

Posted: 12/24/2016 8:11 PM

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Finally, my son in rehab...

After abusing marijuana for maybe two decades, my son is in a 30-day program at a local hospital.  He was referred through a psychologist at his work (to whom in he was referred when he was probably about to be fired on account of tardiness and carelessness.)

He was immediately put on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs and something to help him sleep by a psychiatrist.

I am so surprised at how well he is taking this.  He is saying he's happy to be sober, he's interested in meeting other people with problems, and he seems to respect the staff.

I realize that many reading this have relatives who have been to rehab many times.  But this is the first time my son has ever even aknowledged problems with drugs.  He's even blamed us for not doing them with him!!!  That would be for the sake of family unity.

Well, you all know what I want for Christmas.

 

 

Posted: 12/13/2016 10:52 PM

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Choice or Disease?

I'm new on here but have been living a nightmare since my oldest son was 15, he is now 25. Did rehab thing, Na, he was even a ward of the state bc he got kicked out of rehab and I had other children at home so a judge thought it was best. So here I am now all 5 of my oldest children ranging from 25 to 20 are all addicts. They no longer reside in my home, I still am raising my youngest 2. I decided after being verbally, emotionally, and financially abused to stop communicateing with them since nobody wants treatment of any sort and just want to blame me. I didn't buy them this or that, they had chores and yes when at my whit send I'm ashamed to say, I said I hated them. But it was frustration, my last 10 years have been a living hell. So is it choice their doing drugs..heroin, meth, pills, duis before even 21 or is it an uncontrollable disease and I'm asking too much when I have offered rehab?? Please answer me with all honesty...I am lost.

Posted: 12/04/2016 7:18 PM

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1st Vivitrol Injection and drinking alcohol same day

My son just received his first Vivitrol injection today upon leaving jail after 16 days.  I have found that he has consumed (that I know of for sure) a shot of Crown Royal approx. 2 hours after injection; a pint of Jagermeister; and about two inches drank from a pink of Screwdriver.  He is slumped over asleep/passed out in his bed.  I DO NOT have any idea what to do or how concerned I should be.  This is all new to me and I am scared to death.

Posted: 12/01/2016 7:27 PM

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Crack use

Posted: 11/23/2016 2:37 PM

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