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No changes

As I write this, my husband and my son are having a conversation.  It's the best conversation I've heard since my husband is saying that we cannot solve his problems.  He's having trouble at work and is likely to be fired without eligiblity for unemployment.  But he's in a rage.  He blames us because he hates everybody, esp. us and his sister.  On and on.  It's the script.  We've been subsidizing his rent yet "I don't want to live here."  So therefore his being late chronically late for work, now for being negligent at work.  His sister has turned us against him, blah blah blah.  This is part of his denial, I know.  But this is so OLD.  It's been going on for 15 years.  My hands are shaking,  I'm almost panting, my heart is racing.  He's on us about his sister getting the house for herself, this has been her goal since they were small etc. etc.  The fact is, she doesn't live in "the house," anymore.  We don't tell him because she doesn't want him to know where she lives in another city and we don't want him to demand a place to live.  The house is rented out to different young people, her former roommates and a few new people. Meanwhile he lives in another house of ours and we're losing $500 to $600 a month without even considering income earning opportunity lost.  We used to make money on the house.  I just hope he doesn't rip it apart.  But it's everyone else's fault, never his. And he NEVER acknowledges that he's late to work, incompetent at work, angry and unhappy all the time BECAUSE he smokes marjuana every day all day.

 

Posted: 11/13/2016 4:47 PM

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Is my husband a sex addict?

My husband just relapsed on booze and drugs after 8 yrs of sobriety.   I never knew he used hookers and escorts before when he used.  Apparently he didn't get honest the first time...hence the dry drunk behavior the first go around and the evevitable relapse.   This time I around I found emails soliciting escorts, found evidence of a prepaid phone and he has admited to only getting a "hand job" since we have been married during this relapse though I know that's bs.  He admitted to many escort escapades when he used before prior to us being married.  He denies he is a sex addict.  Says it's just part of him being a drug addict. I disagree.  Help?????  I have already seperated from him and am ovb considering divorce.  He is in rehab. 

Posted: 10/30/2016 5:24 AM

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Support meetings

Our 25 yr old daughter came back home a year ago after a few years in different treatment programs.  She has Been clean for 2  years.  She tried some meetings when she first came home and said they've weren't for her.  We suspect that she has started hanging out with her old friends while they are smoking weed. She says she does not smoke it.  I am concerned. Should she be going to meetings ? And how often?  Thank you for your help. 

Posted: 10/26/2016 1:12 PM

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help a love one on crack

?How can I help my love one to stop doing crack

Posted: 10/22/2016 5:38 AM

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Why addicts???
Why addicts manipulate,blame there spouses for everything make excuses leave there healthy relationship for a rebound,play mind games verbally and mentally abusive,why are they so full of revenge so hateful? Why am i such the bad person. Why...would they walk away from everything...does deep depression really mess with every thing?

Posted: 10/15/2016 2:21 PM

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Meth/alchole

I was in a 4 1/2 year relation ship we had are ups and down like any other relation ship. one day out of the blue he tells me he is no longer in love with me when 4 days prior he was all over me. so he comes home when im at work to grab a grocery sack full of a few belongings and his PS4 i thought was wired he tells me he pretended to love me for 4 1/2 years....who says that? some one on drugs. he played the blame game it was all me never him or i dont know if i can stop drinking or change it was excuse after excuse the head games the manipulation.me and my kids maid him angry. he distance him self from me and every one that loved him and actually gave a ****...he is mentally and verbally abusive very moody and just evil brought his reboung crack head girl frind to are home we bought together...if he wastnt hetting high he wouldnt do these things. when I confronted him he is like im not using and laughed at me when your in a untreated deppression and havent gotten help i have read they will go to using drugs to deal with every thing.

Posted: 10/13/2016 5:51 PM

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Still here...

 

Hi! Yes I'm still here. Still in the same place with AD...but have moved on with the rest of my life. He's still playing the same games, same manipulations, same dysfunctions. I no longer refer to his relapses but my own as I can be going along just fine & have a day where I still obsess over that of which I have no control. My other 3 are growing into fabulous adults and they are a United front when it comes to all of this. 

I could tell stories but there isn't a point to that. He did recently go on a tirade when he found out his brother was working in the same city as him and so AD had to quit his "two jobs" because of this infiltration from his horrible family.Even the other addicts on his Facebook told him he was a whiny attention-seeker who needed to cut the crap. He takes them for what he can as well. 

About a month ago I did go and meet with him and it was an unmitigated disaster that ended in me driving him to hospital psych and calling security to meet me at the door. That was my relapse..it accomplished nothing but the payoff that he can still get mom to run out there even if it will do no good. He had written a suicide note to my 86 year old father in law who just suddenly lost a son and he had just lost his step grandson to addiction & suicide. So my AD, true to form, swoops in to cash in. He told grandpa to pay up or he would be responsible for his death, a note I used to get on a daily basis. This angered me & shook me up. AD is a masterful escalator..

But, I persevere...numb in some ways but ok. I am working on my own health trying some new strategies - determined to get stronger in every way possible. I find a great help to me is Valerie Silviera, founder of Addicts Family. Look into her work & sign up for her battle reminders. She just lost her addict daughter at the end of August, but she has been writing about it at least 10 years.

Stay Gold!

Posted: 10/13/2016 9:08 AM

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Posted: 10/13/2016 9:29 AM

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Methadone / Herion

Hi my 21 year old son has been on methadone for 5 months now at 115 m and was staying clean

he tried droping the dose down to 95m to lower the side effects (sweating and ED) and he immidiatly relapsed ....

it was a short 2 dayer but it feels like we are back to square one.

On guard hiding everything, I took his car away too as I pay the insurance and he still owes me for some of it.

I dont want him to kill someone or himself if he crashes

This has been going on now over 4 years and he has tried suboxone, 5 rehabs 6 IOPs countless AA meetings and now Methadone is there any hope for him

 

 

Posted: 09/27/2016 2:16 PM

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What kind of drug is he using

I found drug paraphenalia in my son's room.  There were two needles, some spoons that were discolored on the bottom from being held over a flame, two pieces of a plastic drinking straw about 3 inches long, and several very tiny, empty plastic bags (less than an inch square) printed with clubs like the clubs on playing cards.  From this information, can you give me an idea what he is using?

Posted: 09/26/2016 3:31 PM

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she is active again

I KNOW that my AD is active again.. I am sad. the good part is I can DO NOTHING. I can only focus on ME and my little one! I pray, A LOT. I have NO control over HER. I found a peace, yet still have fears of the "phone call" I will spare details of the crazy things I have heard, but I know this, I am OKAY today, and will be. Thank You to the members here that have supportd me through the YEARS. I have painted my house, had a fantasticly fun summer with my Lil one, made NEW friends, took a vacation to see my family (YES I LEFT HERE), and reject pleas for money and hang the phone up too! and accomplished many neglected things, including ME. I am PROUD of myself to say the least!

 

Posted: 09/24/2016 8:28 PM

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