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Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

 Hello All;

I understand that drug addicts appear to be the most selfish people in the world. It is all abou them and their DOC. Screw everyone else, and the world. Are they always going to be selfish bastards or is this just the drug. My husband use to be thoughful. We don't have  a lot of money but he would make dinner, and make me smile. Since his decline back into drugs the word A*! H*X$# is the kindest word I can use.

Why are addicts angry? As I have posted before mine is now in jail because of his addiction. Why is he angry? He says he is never mad or upset with me (I would hope not assh$#@! since I didn't do anyting wrong - but enable b/f  I knew I was, now that has all changed) he is mad at himself. I don't see the point in this anger. It is not helpful. Is this normal and a process they go through?

Thanks for you continual support all of you. You have helped me more than you will ever know.

 

Posted: 11/04/2011 12:03 PM

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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

My husband went through the same thing, he was angry with himself because of the choices HE made, once sobriety started setting in he realizde he had no one else to blame for his situation but himself, I looked at this as a positive thing, if he is angry and ashamed of what he has done, then its a step in the right direction....The anger before getting clean is an effect of the drug, it changes who they are, most times they don't even know themselves why they are angry, the drug alters their way of coping and understanding things, you intake a horrible evil substance it's going to come out in every way possible, attitude, personality, health ect....

Posted: 11/04/2011 1:55 PM

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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

 As an addict I can say that he is probably angry with himself and it manifests itself outwardly. I never expressed anger I just got really depressed and withdrawn but we are all different. It stems from self loathing because of our weakness and lack of self control. Is it the drugs talking? not really its probably more about how he deals with his anxiety. You know how they say booze is like truth serum? People say what they feel without checking themselves because their common sense filter is off. Drugs can work that way too. Don't take it too personally (easy for me to say) You do not deserve that and he must make amends and take personal responsibility for his words and actions at some point if you can move on together after he finds the help he needs. Sorry for your situation, you do not deserve the b s 

Posted: 11/04/2011 2:31 PM

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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

This I know:  Even people who have never touched a drug are idiots.  So, no, I don't think he will always be this way.  He has a lot of "working things out" ahead of him. It can be a drag to follow along, I know.  Who knows where the end result will take you both, after all, it will be a lifetime of working a program and staying clean.

Thinking of you...

Posted: 11/04/2011 2:47 PM

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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

Classic addict behavior. The mood swings are awful. As stated above, do not take it personal and you also dont have to take it at all. He is the one out of control. You have total contral. Set boundaries even the attitudes. We loved ones suffer enough, and we stay sober doing so.

Keep strong and coming here to vent we will help.

KJ

Posted: 11/04/2011 2:50 PM

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SOBER COACH
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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

Why are addicts/alcoholic so angry?  It's the nature of the beast that's within.  I don't think I've ever known one that isn't angry in the beginning, but if one is willing to work a program of recovery that anger usually subsides.  We are angry at ourselves for getting ourselves in the situation we are in, we are angry at others because we think others are to blame, we are angry because people are on to us and are making it difficult to continue on our addiction, we are angry because we have been "victimized" all or part of our lives...the list goes on and on. 

The good news is that there is hope, but one has to become willing to seek the help that they so desparately need. 

Posted: 11/05/2011 10:13 AM

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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Why Are Addicts So Angry / Selfish

They are angry when they are not being enabled.

Posted: 11/05/2011 7:10 PM

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