Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!
 
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a bad couple weeks
Hello all. On the downward part of the rollercoaster. Ad still doesn't have an addiction prob. Lol. She is In rehab part of prison but she is not like the others in there, she is of course better.my hubby is just tired of it all. My lil one has too much energy do my old sorry butt and i can not keep up. My job is ok i guess. Everything around the house is breaking, co outer, but my ad fell on it last winter do it is on its last leg. Bought a new one. Cars are both having issues, my dryer, and this morning my coffee pot. Trying to stay sane in it all. Ad and i had a talk 3 days ago and she didn't like what i said so she hasn't called me since. Since she hasn't "gotten it" yet should i stop putting mo et on canteen or at least pull back on it to make it worse for her. The prison she is in, not by her telling me, but the conditions are truly deplorable. They went 5 months with no hot water and no ac it gets 100 degrees here. The heat is usually not that great either. I give her 20 a week and her gma gives her 100 a month. I think it's too much. Please help and give asvuce Posted: 10/25/2014 12:32 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Somebody will probably tell you that you and grandma are giving too much money. But I would be a hypocrite if I told you that since I'm just a girl who can't say 'no' myself. But I am sorry that you are having so many problems with all your household tools. Sounds like you have a lot to worry about in a twenty-yard radius and that's not even looking at the job! Maybe you need to vacation in place -- just start taking care of your mental self and trying extra hard to relax. Take less than one day at a time. Posted: 10/25/2014 2:40 PM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks I think it's a lot from 2 different sources, but that's just me. I do think conditions in the lockup should be humane. But if it was the Hilton, would she do any better? For an addict, it's not that a program isn't working, it's that the addict Isn't Working the Program. Some jails have drugs inside anyway, so addict may not be buying just shampoo or Pop Tarts. Posted: 10/25/2014 9:14 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks 20 cents is too much, she has a bed , food? That's all she needs. That's too much if you ask me. What is she doing to earn $180 a month. Her behavior does not warrant giving her a thing, Don't take this as being mean, but in my opinion our addicts are not the only ones that need to "get it" ..... STOP GIVING ...STOP HELPING. Make her suffer. Posted: 10/26/2014 5:39 AM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Posted: 10/26/2014 5:45 AM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the mo. I think you should stop giving your ad money and use it on things you need to replace at home or treat yourself to something nice. Sometimes you need to put yourself and your needs first.
Posted: 10/26/2014 2:59 PM
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89 Thanks
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the mo. I think you should stop giving your ad money and use it on things you need to replace at home or treat yourself to something nice. Sometimes you need to put yourself and your needs first.
Posted: 10/26/2014 3:00 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Hello Wannarun, Sorry to hear all this kaos. I have had many days that many things go wrong, when it rains, it pours. I agree with all the above. Stop helping her. Take care of you, do something nice for you. You deserve it... Thinking of you. Posted: 10/27/2014 5:19 AM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Being i just got out of prison , seems to me that shes living the life out there , i did it with no money and i survived , the only thing i needed was hygiene things , and had no air and very little heat ,and they where in no hurry to fix things . It was pure hell it changed me . Take care of ur needs .Let the state take care of her I agree with Marty God Bless Dog the addict Posted: 10/28/2014 11:04 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks I agree with Marty and Dog. I wish you'd adopt me! I don't have $20 a week to just blow on vending machines. When my son was in jail, I did not put a dime on his books. I also quit visiting him and going to his court dates. We had some wonderful addicts in recovery come to our Nar=Anon meeting last week. They both said that they didn't "get it" until they had nothing and no one or no where to turn to. Posted: 10/31/2014 4:48 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks I want to add that when he got out of jail, we did great for a while, but old patterns set in and he relapsed. I was unable to go to my Nar-Anon meetings while my mother was sick, but I have started back and with the support of my group and friends at this site, I've gotten back on track. Stay the course. You not only help your addict, but the little one will benefit from consistency as well. Posted: 11/03/2014 9:18 AM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Why are you sending her anything? She doesn't need it to survive. Your job is not to make her life more comfortable. Your job is to let her feel the consequence of her choices. That means NO MONEY In JAIL. I think you and grandma should take the $180 and spend it on yourselves. Be thankful she hasn't called. Let her live her life and live with her choices. You do not need to talk with her. You are enabling her. Posted: 11/05/2014 7:21 PM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Why are you sending her anything? She doesn't need it to survive. Your job is not to make her life more comfortable. Your job is to let her feel the consequence of her choices. That means NO MONEY In JAIL. I think you and grandma should take the $180 and spend it on yourselves. Be thankful she hasn't called. Let her live her life and live with her choices. You do not need to talk with her. You are enabling her. Posted: 11/05/2014 7:21 PM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks She "Still hasn't gotten it"? Not Your Problem! Posted: 11/06/2014 10:35 AM
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In Response to: a bad couple weeks Oh Wannarun...I'm right there with you. AD is also still "better" than his jail mates...I too put money in his commissary account though my other sons said he could work and earn his own money there according to their sources. I didn't set up the phone account though because nothing he says is the truth so why listen? I did not visit either..why should I be punished? His choices, his consequences..leave me out of it... Posted: 11/06/2014 10:07 PM
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