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After the bonus came in...
My son seemed to be doing so well. On time to work. Courteous to us. Doing WELL at work, so he gets a bonus two weeks ago. A big bonus. So now,he's screamed at us because he ran out of hot water while taking a shower. He's been given a warning at work that if he's late again, he'll be put on probation, then if he's late again, he'll be fired, lose any future bonus, maybe be ineligible for unemployment. Our fault. If we didn't provide him with subsidized/free housing, he could sleep in. He went into his script about how we favor his sister because she lives in the house he'd prefer, never mind that her roommates pay his rent indirectly. And that if he lived in the better,larger house, he couldn't have roommates because he's a slob, quarrelsome, noisy, disruptive and angry a lot. So why doesn't he move now that he had lots of money, I ask. And pay %1,200 month -- which is fair market for where he wants to live, or so he thinks. NO. He'd prefer to live in the 'burbs with dull people and have money to spend on what? And why the bad tempoer all of a sudden? My guess is that he's spending his bonus money on his drug of choice, which I supposed was marijuana. But now I'm wondering. The descent into inappropriate rage was so fast. Oh, and he also lost his insulin pump's glucometer. "Lost?" How can be get careless on his life support all of a sudden? So now he's in a major sulk on the Sunday before Christmas. Why does he place himself in this position? He seemed to be doing much better. I was still depressed because I had doubts that I could ever feel comfortable about him. I am so tired of walking on eggs. His sister has been no contact with him for several years now, and I am wondering when and if I can do the same. Not while my husband is alive; he would never let us do that.
Posted: 12/21/2014 7:55 PM
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In Response to: After the bonus came in... If he was doing pot he would be mellow not angry. I often notice behaviors from my daughter, although clean the addict behaviors remain and coping skills need to be learned. My teacher said at first sobriety is good, then it's real good, then it's just REAL. In my opinion you really need to let go, nothing may change with him, but it will change with you. Stop listening to his bs. You wouldn't be upset right before the holidays if you had cut off all communications. If you keep doing the same thing nothing will change, it's all on him. But you know that. Posted: 12/22/2014 4:36 AM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: After the bonus came in... He'll do what he does as long as you 2 keep doing what you're doing. It's way overdue for him to stop throwing a Continual Tantrum & you to stop Subsidizing it. You'll find it's such Huge Relief when you stop letting your grown child Highjack Your Life! Peace & prayers. Posted: 12/22/2014 1:23 PM
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In Response to: After the bonus came in... I saw the following quote on facebook. It really sums up my life before Nar-Anon. "The more chances you give someone, the less respect they'll start to have for you. They'll begin to ignore the standards that you've set because they know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know, no matter what, you won't walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. NEVER get comfortable letting a person disrespect you." Posted: 12/30/2014 11:33 PM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: After the bonus came in... Amen, Paula! Posted: 12/31/2014 10:03 AM
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