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Husband smoking crack
I'm so embarrassed and honestly I don't even know where to begin. Almost 3 years ago I discovered my husband had become addicted to crack. He would come home late, never have money, called out of work, etc. Then he came home with a strange smell. I drug tested him and he confessed. Fast forward to now: Aug 2014 he stole his mom's car and rent money so she called the cops. We have been living with his mother since he can't stop and can't keep a job He was released from jail after a week. That same night he left again. A few days later he was arrested again for driving on a suspended license. He was incarcerated for 2 months and released in October. Everything was great after that. He started a new job, it paid well, no drugs and he even helped me with the kids. January rolls around and my worst nightmare became a reality. He's stealing money again and this morning my 4 year old asked me where our tv was. He traded it for crack last night. I had to quit my job because I had nobody to watch my 3 kids while I work. We are still living with his mom and she is very supportive of me. I don't know what to do. We tried kicking him out and the police were a**holes and told us we couldn't do that? I know I need to leave. I don't know where to go. His mom is all I have but if we can't kick him out what do I do? I love him, I really do. But my kids are more important. Any advice?
Posted: 01/22/2015 11:55 AM
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In Response to: Husband smoking crack If you file an order of protection or restraining order, he would have to leave. Also, press charges for stealing from his mother (you can't press charges if he sells his own tv, but you can if it's her stuff and her house). I had trouble with the cops until I got help from our drug court judge and the county sheriff. Money may be tight right now, but an hour with a criminal attorney or divorce attorney to explain how to get him out of the house would be worth every penny. He does not need to be around the kids while actively using drugs. He not only is setting a very bad example, but he is stealing resources from the family that you all need. You know all this, I am just offering an opinion and support. This is a very difficult journey, it's not anybody's fault, but it is totally up to him as to how he wants to spend his life, and totally up to you how you want to spend yours. I left an alcoholic husband without a penny to my name. I had two kids, a dog, a cat, and an iguana. I stayed with a friend for a few weeks while I saved enough to get into an apartment with a $79 move in special. That was 8 years ago. It hasn't been easy, but is has been better!! Hang in there, and keep checking back because more folks will answer your question when they get online. Posted: 01/22/2015 6:55 PM
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In Response to: Husband smoking crack does he own the property in which you live. No? Kick him out. Yes? You and his mom kick him out. No need to be embarraassed here. We all understand Posted: 01/22/2015 9:46 PM
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In Response to: Husband smoking crack If he's not on the deed or the lease, he can be thrown out, don't take what the cops say as gospel, a restraining order is a great idea, and you must prosecute or you and his mom are enabling and not helping. Don't be embarrassed, there are more of us than you realize, we have been there or are there. Keep him away from your kids any way you can, check social services, you may qualify for more than you know. Posted: 01/24/2015 2:43 PM
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In Response to: Husband smoking crack I agree with the other posts, he needs immediate consequences. An order of protection, harassment charge, anything legal that keeps him away from you and your family is necessary for your safety and sanity. I realize that separating from him is a daunting task, but it's necessary, because he's not going to change. He's already placing the drug before everyone and everything in his life and unfortunately, he will keep using regardless. If his mother is supportive and willing to file the same legal stipulations then stay with her. You need the support! If she will cave and let him return when he seems "better", then you'll need to find somewhere else to go. He will need some type of rehab, or serious intervention and substantial clean time before you can trust anything he says. When I was drinking my wife threw me out, I lost jobs, I lost the right to see my children, I went to jail...etc. Those consequences were absolutely necessary for me to remember that what I was doing was wrong. I believe without them I may still be drinking today. My consequences began 13 years ago and I've only been sober for 10 months. It's a long process. I urge you to find additional support and do whatever you have to to ensure you and your children are safe and able to live your lives. Posted: 01/25/2015 9:14 PM
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