Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!
 
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Living with the addict
My AD daughter is a heroine addict and has struggled with opiate addiction for the past 10 years. She been in and out of many rehabs over the years, stayed clean for a while only to relapse again and again. She has even been incarcerated because of her addiction. She has lived with me during these years of addiction except for her rehab and jail stints. She has been going to school to be an addiction counselor. Ironically, she just relapsed again and is off chasing her high. We I question her, she denies it, even when I find paraphenelia in her room. I'm having a hard time dealing with this once again. I get angry and want to throw her out
but can't. I've done it on several occasions but it didn't last. I became too anxious. I spoke with her counselor today, and she suggested that I not put her out. I know she brings drugs into my home. I've told her that if I find any more drugs she's out. Of course, I never follow through. My question: Do I let her stay my and set boundaries or do I put her out and then fear the worst of a bad situation. And if she stays how do I get the boundaries to stick. Thanks.
Posted: 07/23/2015 5:27 PM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Living with the addict It's said in 12 Step, "When you do what you do, you get what you got." Try Alanon or Nar-Anon. I say that as my Regular Broken Record, because they Don't give Advice .But they will share their Experience, Strength &, Hope like no Famiy, Friend, Neighbor, or Co-Worker ever could/ My Late Daughter (pictured left) had a stubborn Meth Addiction (which brought on Voices). Athough not her DOC, she succumbed to a Heroin Overdose after dating an H Addict for a month. There's NO Heartbreak like it. Peace & prayers. Posted: 07/26/2015 12:27 AM
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In Response to: Living with the addict I was on a similar merry go round with my son until I started going to Nar-Anon meetings AND asking questions at this site. On the boundaries, start with something small that you know you can say "no" to, such as, "No, I will not pay for your cell phone", or "No, I will not give you money for ______". Then it becomes easier to enforce the bigger boundaries. Remember that boundaries are NOT rules for her, but rather a fence around you to keep out the riff raff. Boundaries are for you and how you let people treat you. Best wishes and please keep us posted. We care!
Posted: 08/02/2015 3:13 PM
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In Response to: Living with the addict With all due respect, her counselor does not know what they are talking about. Not putting her out is prolonging the inevitable and enabling her to continue her behavior. No accountability. When I put my daughter out it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it saved her life and my sanity. Her homelessness made her choose life or death and empowered her to fight for it. If you don't follow through on your threats you are part of the problem. Loving an addict is doing what is best for them and to help save their life, enabling is not helping. Put her out. Posted: 08/03/2015 10:05 PM
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