Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!
 
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Why addicts???
Why addicts manipulate,blame there spouses for everything make excuses leave there healthy relationship for a rebound,play mind games verbally and mentally abusive,why are they so full of revenge so hateful? Why am i such the bad person. Why...would they walk away from everything...does deep depression really mess with every thing?
Posted: 10/15/2016 2:21 PM
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In Response to: Why addicts??? Other people might be better prepared to answer this question. Still, in my experience, what you describe is pretty common. I think that scapegoating the spouse (or in my case, mother and father) is part of the larger problem called DENIAL. That is, even though there's no problem, if there is a problem, it's an inevitable results of the way other people wronged them, continue to wrong them and so on. Therefore, since the other person caused it, they can control it (and ought to), and they can cure it. In other words, "it's not my fault, it's your fault." It's more comfortable to blame somebody else and go on doing what you want to do than contront one's own addiction. I took me a long time to get this even though people had given me the above message many times. I wanted to believe I caused it, so I could conrol it and then if I could control it, I could also cure it. I re-visit this kind of thinking quite often -- like going back to a really bad Hotel over and over.
Posted: 10/19/2016 4:16 PM
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In Response to: Why addicts??? People in active addiction are slaves to the disease. Think of Addiction as the same as a brain injury caused by an auto accident, except the injury is caused from the inside of the brain by the constant craving and use of the drug. There is nothing rational occurring. The disease takes over the brain. Therefore, a person in active addiction cannot function like the rest of us. The disease is the master, and they have to obey. The only way for that person to become rational is to get into detox, and then stay in treatment for a long long time Posted: 10/23/2016 11:52 AM
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In Response to: Why addicts??? an addict will find every reason to take the blame off of themselves, it is self justification. well it was sunny out and I had to use. Well it rained and it made me use. You were mean to me, I had to use. My mother said I could not go out on a Friday night when I was a teenage, so I needed to use. The wind blew, etc. It is always somebody elses fault or else they would be responsible and actually have to change. It is warm and comfy in the familiar, change is scary, and hard. Try and find a support group for yourself, it will help you so very much and ais the addict in possible getting help.
Posted: 11/06/2016 6:46 PM
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