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Old or new hollow pen

I found a hollow pen the other day with brown resin in it.  It smells.  My son is a heroin addict and visited 2 years ago and again last month. Is there any way to determine how old this is?

Posted: 04/01/2017 10:31 AM

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In Response to: Old or new hollow pen

Dear Newbie,

Welcome here.  I am glad you found us. Why do you care about this old pen you found?  You know that your son is an addict.  Is he claiming to be clean and sober now?  Your find neither proves nor disproves that. Sorry, dear Newbie, but I think you are torturing yourself for no reason.  Throw it away and forget about it.  On the other hand, you can involve the police who have the technical resources but will tell you the same.  Have you asked your son?  Yes, I know, addicts lie.  But you should be able to tell if he's lying.  Then you have your proof.  And are no further ahead , by the way.  Please throw it away.Value your daily peace of mind that comes with realizing that your son's addiction is an illness he has to work through.  Every day of his life.  Heroin is so wonderful that the memory of your first or your last fix stays in you forever.  My last hit was in the last century, but there has not been one day without by brain going back to it.  That is the price we pay for the joy we felt when using. 
?It is not your cross to bear, dear Newbie.

Peace,

Freyja

 

Posted: 04/02/2017 7:20 AM

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In Response to: Old or new hollow pen

Dear Freyja,

Thank you for your response and your wise words.  I know I should heed them.  The reason I was wondering how old the pen was because 2 years ago when he came to visit, we were not aware he was an addict since he was 31,  married, lived in a different state and we only saw him once or twice a year.  Then when it was discovered we helped him go to 4 rehabs in 6 months.  Last month when he visited he was suppose to be clean and sober.  He is now asking us to pay his rent, bills, insurance etc so he can go back to school full time and get his education (and us pay for that also) The wife, job, car, house, savings are all gone now and he doesn't want to get a job (been unemployed for 5 months now and was on disability for months before that going to rehabs) My husband wants to and I don't.  I have concerns about his sobriety and my husband believes everything he says.  So with that  I wanted to know if we are "helping" or "enabling". I feel like even if he is clean we are enabling an adult man from being all he can be.  

Good luck to you on your sobriety.  I know you must work at it every day.

Peace to you as well

Newbie

Posted: 04/02/2017 8:11 AM

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In Response to: Old or new hollow pen

Dear Newbie,

Let me share with you a little bit more of my story:  All my life i wanted to come to America .  There came a time when my apaperwork was accepted and I was scheduled for a physical to see if I was healthy enogh to immigrate.  That was my clue:  if I wanted to make my life long dream come true, I had to be clean and sober by a certain date.  I knew I would need at least a month to get all that smack out f my system, but like a true addict, Im kept moving the drop dead date off more and more.  However, I did it, with the help of the members of my commune.  They locked my in my room, came in a few times a day to bring me water and clean me up.  Yes, going cold turkey is very messy.  I screamed and cried and begged and threatened the whole house, but they did what I had asked them to do.  After three days in hell, I started to improve.  But there were still sleepless nights, hallucinations, and vomiting.  I made my appointment for the physical , scared that the tracks on my body would give it way.  The doctor only looked at the blood tests and we talked mainly about my diabetes.  So,you may understand why I never went backl to heroin.  I was so freaked out about the process of getting clean, that it took many years before the cravings started again.  But now I have a great life and so much to live for.  Please take what I qwill say now with a grain of salt:  I believe that suboxone, methadone and other heroin replacements do not help with long term sobriety.  The addict needs to "have skin in the game".  There have to be consequences to addiction, otherwise why quit?  I knew heroin addicts who were addicted for years and years, kept a decent paying job, just did not get anywhere because their habit kept them rooted in place.

Yes, in my opinion your husband is an enabler.  When I visited my parents , strung out, they treated me with icy indifference.  I felt so bad, I did not go back until I was clean and sober and ready to leave for America.

So, I wish your son well, but he will need something that is worth more to him than heroin.

Freyja

 

Posted: 04/05/2017 5:42 PM

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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Old or new hollow pen

I believe the reason you posted is because you have a gut suspicion, I have found that my gut is always right. If your son is in his 30's why is he broke and asking his parents to pay? He doesn't want to work?  Then no wonder you are suspicious. In my life, I lived with 2 family members with substance use disorders,  both my dad and my husband, they were both enabled to death, my 3rd introduction to the Desease of addiction was my young daughter who was a heroin addict, I took advise from a very wise man on this site many years ago, woke up, got educated and completely cut her out of my life while she was using. It was hard but she says it saved her life, I took away all her crutches and now she is about to graduate law school, and is an advocate for addiction.  We, parents of addicts  are very suspicious and sometimes fixate on an item we find, it probably is not old, it is something your brain is telling you to protect you.  I know work with 50+ addicts on a daily basis, and realize everyday what a hard desease this is to recover from. It is possible, but the enabling only prolongs the inevitable.

Posted: 04/15/2017 9:02 AM

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