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Holidays with an addict

I has been for ever since I have been on this site.  Quite a journey.  Long and short of it my daughter has dragged me into ther ground.  I left her, put her stuff in storage and broke lease because I could not bear the lies anymore.  I have repeatedly told her to work on herself before trying to keep a relationship, job or anything else. Well now she says she is pregnant, no job, living in roach infested home.  I had not seen her as I moved 1.5 hrs away.  when I did she looked crappy, weight loss.  Bought them $60 as she said he makes sure that she eats 1st.  took her to lunch.  She barely ate. Brought NA book and Prengancy book to her.  She is on subutex and swears the Dr. is making her go to NA meetings.  though when she saw the book she commented "What did you bring that for?"  Supposedly she is 4.5 mo pregnant.  I felt used again.  He is only one working and paying for his suboxin and her subutex.  I avoided her for a week then went back down to have her do a drug screen and pregancy test.  She just kept staring at me saying "Really."  yup really.  She refused both.  I need to know and start from the truth and try to move on.  Supposedly she saw GYN.  she will not allow me to know anything with Dr.  They know she has a drug problem and has miscarried once.  Anyway I have asked her and her boyfriend to come to Thanksgiving dinner.  She is coming.  Both my sons are angry.  I feel like I need to see her as I am a mess without seeing how she is.  All I plan on is feeding them....THAT IS IT.  They are loosing everything they own in storage.  Choosing drugs instead of paying that.  Can a dr. get a court order if she has drugs on board to go to rehab?  would like an addict to answer how to handle HolidaYS.  Am I enabling just by having Thanksgiving dinner???  PLEASE GIVE INPUT ASAP!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 11/22/2017 4:25 PM

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In Response to: Holidays with an addict

I don't get it:  why not just cook dinner, make light conversation, then say good-bye?  You seem to want to put lots of conditions on this event.  Don't.   It will not work.  Put away you valuables and be polite and distant.  She was a junkie when she enteredb your home; she won't be cured just becauseb you put all those conditions on her.

I spent all of my holidays in church basements, with the other addicts and homeless people'glad for thegifts of chocolate and wool socks.  I wish you all the best.

Freyja

 

Posted: 12/15/2017 11:20 AM

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