Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!

Back to Search

0 Thanks

When the signs are there but denial defeats u

Ok for the past 2 years my husband of 6 years have been rough. We have both had addiction in our pasts and he had started drinking again but started just a drink at a party and before I knew it he was binge drinking and also driving but he began to change seemed to be provoking arguments that lasted for days. I had been noticing  we were getting behind on bills and started asking why money was being withdrawn  from checking account in increments of 60, multiple times a day sometimes 300 a day.this raised huge flags, we made 2200 a week together and rent checks were bouncing, any time.i asked he would become angry and gaslight me so severely I just started accepting it.  I started noticing he would make runs to store for no reason and be gone a really long time. Well his constant denial that he was using drugs wasn’t sitting well so I started snooping, I found empty bindles, water bottle caps, started noticing his skin was so warm to touch he seriously felt like fire. Night sweats where bed was drinched ny morning. His breath had a chemical type scent. When I found under a slit in the carpet of his truck a black sticky tar like rock i presented it to him and asked what is this? He didn’t hesitate n stated “that’s not my black tar heroin” I said I found it in your truck he actually attempted to place it on me, let me clarify I never did any kind of substance other then rx pills and I had to look it up, also I said if it’s not yours or mine why would u not worry it was one of our kids? Again fought with me so I would drop it. Time goes on he began to want to stay home instead of do anything he would go from happy and nice to completely sinister and evil. I started noticing sex was almost obsolete and nights I would complain he would disappear come back and he would have the hot skin chemical smell on his breath and able to perform normally. Then I started seeing track marks and he would tell me it was from work and I was crazy... I was a nurse for 30 years I know a track mark when I see it, I found a syringe cap and always notice a box of razor blades sitting on the only clean surface in his work shop along with scissors, bent wire, pieces of cigarette filters or q tips, caps with residue, and started questioning missing spoons, I went thru his lunch box found spoons more then once with white chalky type residue almost slick feeling with scratches on the residue itself, I noticed more often the chemical scent in the bathroom, and when he lit a cigarette I swear he was smoking more then tobacco bc it doesnt smell right I would stand by him if he would be honest and I suspect it’s either crack cocaine to get up have energy or meth due to the violent rages that come from left field. But I also think he is shooting heroin. I noticed scabs on his pelvis same as his arms I noticed this under his wedding ring on the finger and tops of feet, there are slits under our pillow top on his side of the bed, paper towels with black stickyy marks like streaks on them In lunch box daily, I left in March and we are attempting counseling but I can’t live like this, I m loyal and understand it’s the disease and willing to see him thru this but without his admittance how can I come home? I m afraid for him bc I believe it’s not only one drug but a combo. His best friend now is a drug dealer but I saw a text to my husband that said “ hey if you know anyone I can turn on to get down or know of people who want to get down send them my way and i will hook you up” well of course I googled drug slang and get down means if drug use or to teach someone to use iv drugs. I have found small bagggies with white residue and baggies with brown residue I would like to hear someone tell me I m correct he is using I m not crazy,,, can someone let me know and I will send pics of things I have found for an opinion if u don’t mind helping me with the struggle of enabling him by buying the lies. I just want my husband back but I believe if he admits it he is so afraid he will have to quit so no way will he admit it, I also noticed he is not interested in anything normal anymore we use to have an a,axing sex life it’s really almost non existent and when we do have seed he is smelling like chemicals and the taste of that I don’t even want him kissing me. Other days he is going to take a nap after work which ends up 3@4 hours long, where he hears no one knocking on door or the phone ring. Someone help me please with some honest opinions on how to find out if I am right and what u think he might be doing, thanks 

 

Posted: 09/11/2018 7:58 PM

Received 0 Thanks for this Post

0 Thanks

In Response to: When the signs are there but denial defeats u

Posted: 09/11/2018 10:32 PM

Received 0 Thanks for this Post

 

Reply to Question

 

Back to Search


 
 
 

 
 
Disclaimer: The information provided on this web site is not intended to be medical advice or addiction counseling; rather, it is provided solely as information of a general nature relating to addictions and people affected by addictions. Please note that your access to, and use of, Askanaddict.com is subject to additional terms and conditions. Click here for terms and conditions for the use of this web site.
© Copyright - Ask an Addict - All rights reserved - Terms of Use - Privacy Policy