Creative Corner

Let your mind run wild. This is for all of you to be able to write and let others see your thoughts, your concerns, your insecurities, your hopes etc. Write a poem, a letter to your addiction or to the loved ones you've hurt. Write that letter to the addict in your life. It's up to you! Soon you will also have the ability to upload your artwork and songs that you've created.

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My disease addiction I

I am an addict and i am 16 years old. I grew up around addicts so I always knew of the drugs. I hated them, I saw heroin steal my mothers soul, my cheecks turning red when she began to nod off in front of the social worker at visits with little sister, driving askin mama to keep her eyes open " the house is just down the street ", finding bloody needles in my room, she must have forgot them there when I asked her to stay with me till I fell asleep. The foil crinkling and burning a smell so sweet always wondered what mama was doing as I sat in the back seat, I just knew what she was doing was taking her from me. I thought it was okay cause I had one stable parent, at least I thought. Dad would drink and go out a lot. He began to stay up more than often and I could tell something was wrong, he was always in deep thoughts, looking at him made me sad. It got worse when he got into a shooting. He started staying up all night listening quietly to every noise in the house then rushing into my room shaking me awake because he hears someone in the closet or bathroom. Flashing lights on me while I slept asking me if I was alright. I felt abandoned, how could the two people I love leave me for the streets and drugs. That's what kept me away from them. Then one day my friend wanted to try smoking meth. I remember when she told me I felt confused, I thought she hated it like we talked about. The guy we stayed with let her smoke from his bubble that day and I sat and watched, I never had the urge to try the drug until that moment 7 months ago and now I am addicted to meth. oh now I get it mom and dad. Look now I'm addicted too I understand why you act like you do. But now im smoking so much dope i don't know if it will stop it even happens in my sleep. I'm losing all my hope, my boyfriend is locked up he keeps begging me to pray he gets less time for his robbery he's only 17. I lied and said I would pray but I quit praying when no one seemed to hear my crys at night asking the lord to bring back my old life when we still had my sister, when mama was smiling all the time, and when dad took me to a movie every single week the easy days when I never touched the tweak 

Posted: 03/10/2017 4:23 AM

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Dear Newbie,

I just wanted to acknowledge your heartbreaking post.  You write very well.  Putting words on paper is a strength and skill not many people have.  Build on that.  Write yourself out of meth addiction.  Ceate a world where you do not use every day and follow that in real life.  Focus and discipline are the tools to get out of addiction.  I have been clean for over 40 years.  It's doable. 

I have a tattoo on my back that says He who lives without discipline, dies without honor.  A saying from my Viking forefathers.  It gives me focus when the memory of opium and heroin creep into my mind.

I wish you strength. Keep writing and learn to hope.




Posted: 04/02/2017 8:26 AM

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Thanks your feedback brings tears to my eyes, I was getting frustrated a lot because I felt like i needed the meth to help me write more. As if I couldn't write as good before I ever started using. Then I began having memories. I was born to be heard. Since I learned how to spell I would write story's after story's. Always good feed  back on them too from teachers. I also have had a diary since I was 12 and I write in it to this day. I go back and when I read thes pages I feel as if I'm living the day over again and it's amazing that i did that because I am so grateful to be able to look back and re live So many days I barely remember now so when I look back the words i wrote take me back in time.

Posted: 07/10/2017 10:33 AM

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I wish you would write some of your entries here, either in Confessions or Creative Corner.  You would touch so many people.  I never know what to say to speed freaks (old fashioned term for tweakers)  I actually had to ask my grandson about that word, tweaker, because in forty years, the language has changed.  



Posted: 07/23/2017 4:59 PM

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