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Member Since: 12/30/2010
Last Login: 08/25/2014 |
Long story, short....I am a happily married mother of 2. My youngest has never really given me any problems and without her and my husband I would not be able to make it through this journey with addiction. My oldest is and has been addicted to many things and for many years. Each time I panic and think that this is the worst drug that he could be doing....and each time I am wrong. I believe (looking back) that I have enabled him for so many years and that is the reason that it keeps getting worse. This year is the first time that his father and I have stopped with almost everything and it has been the hardest summer of my life. I think that I have been loving him to death.... I am addicted to my addict and I have spent too many hours worrying. I am really trying to "let go" but as a mother it is so hard. I really have no one that I feel comfortable talking to about all of this and I am very thankful to have found this site. It is amazing how much it helps to write down your thoughts and fears and have someone answer you with encouragement. The old saying about walking a mile in my shoes comes to mind because people on this site have been where I am and I really don't know anyone that has. Hard to talk to someone who does not have a clue about what you are going through. So....thank you for listening and caring. The feeling is mutual.
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I am right there with you. This summer was the worst. And my enabling helped my daughter, 0%, I wasn't even aware of it until I went to cnsl. (and I have a cnsl. degree! but when you are in, you don't see it). You ARE strong. We can't put a number or percentage on that. We are our own mental abusers by fretting, and motherly instincts gone awry. Whatever you are doing, it is the BEST you can do. We didn't ask for this to enter our lives, it just bullied its way in. Fighting back under these circumstances can be out of our league. So remember, WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK. We weaken because it just plain happens. Posted: 09/05/2011 6:17 AM |
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