The addict in my life is clean, and not using. That is the good news. The bad news is that he is not ready to live the life of a recovering addict. He is focusing on an issue (acting as the father figure to a 3yr old boy), when he should be focusing on his clean life. I told his PO that if he was released today, he would be right back in the situation that makes it okay to use. And that his only focus is the child (that isn't biologcally his, and the kids mom is a drug dealer). 

I have detached on the issue. I don't bring it up, and when he does, I reply with, "That is something you will have to figure out, and get clarification on. I don't know, and can't help you." I have also told him that meth heads don't make good father figures. I don't engage in this, because it is fruitless, and just gives him a reason not to focus on recovery. If he doesn't want to change, nothing I can do will help. I can listen, and be a friend, but that is it.

My understanding is that this is quite typical of an addict. Like a dog with a bone. My question is, did any of the recovering addicts here focus on something before changing your lives? Did you know that it was avoidance? 

I'm more of a ghost here on AaA, but wanted to check ibn and say a few things.  I just finished a six week workshop in a residential treatment center. All young women.  All addicts.

Here is what I learned: All junkies know each other.  We recognize each other by some aura that glows around us. . Yes, i know, you non-addicts are horrified by that. But I assure you it is true.

Addicts are as confused and hurting as the rest of humanity. Once they are through with detox, the real human needs become apparant. Addicts need interdtion with society.  They need friends.  They need a social network, meaningful activity and shelter. 

All these women knew they needed to change people, places and things, but only a few knew how to do that.  This is where you, non-addicted members of society come in.  These people need mentors.

If you are the parent of a junkie, bow out of hi/.her life. But...you can mentor another person in the same predicament. Hey, don;t waste all that precious knowlege you gained so painfully. You  can hope that somebody else will do the same for your child.

I wnet into this training with lots of trepidations.  It was an intense experience.  The hardest part was not to reveal myslef to them. I knew where they were at in therir recovery, whare the next big boulder lay that would trip them up, but I could not say a word.  It was a learning experience for me as well. This is their life, their experience, their pain, their triumph.  It was my turn to shut up, to teach what I ghad come there to teach and to let them learn their lessons on their own.

Berar with me, I have one more thing to say: from the latests post, I have gathered that we addicts havew treated you non-addicts too roughly.  Awwh! That's so sad. I am going away now to leave you folks to your pain and su8ffering m while I work on staying straight and sober another day.

Tangled the Ghost