Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!
 
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Saw this and wanted to share
What Alcoholics/Addicts Do:
My name's ———–
I'm an alcoholic/addict. And this is what alcoholics/addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect.
All I care about, all I think about is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use.
When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be drinking/using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.
My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drinking/drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action. And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.
Stop being surprised. I am an alcoholic/addict. And that's what alcoholics/addicts do.
Posted: 08/21/2014 6:47 AM
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share Most people who participate in self destructive behavior of any kind will not change until they have suffered enough. It is very hard to watch someone you love suffer the consequences of their own actions when it is so easy to "fix" it for them. But if we really love them, we will step back and let them fix their own life. More is learned and appreciated if they do the work themselves. Posted: 08/21/2014 7:43 PM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share "Cunning, baffling and powerful" isn't just a slogan. Posted: 08/22/2014 12:19 AM
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322 Thanks
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share WOW what a reality....sheesh and we as a loved one think we can do something, if any of us do just read this Posted: 08/24/2014 8:59 PM
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share As a recovering addict myself, I can assure you that I did still love the people in my life, despite the fact that I hurt them. However, my ability to show that love was impaired. I think of it like having tunnel vision - all you can see is your next high and how to get it. I didn't intend to hurt anyone, but of course when you're in active addiction you can't see the impact of your actions on others. You just can't. I hurt so many people that I loved, but I just couldn't see it at the time. I couldn't see past my own pain. It wasn't until I got clean that I saw life for what it was, and even after a year sober, I'm still settling into this new way of life, and still working on making things right again with the people that I hurt. Making amends, for me now, is not just saying the words, "I'm sorry." Instead, I'm showing it through my actions. Posted: 09/01/2014 1:22 AM
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LIFECOACH
1671 Thanks
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share Good for you! It's not Easy. But it's Brave! Posted: 09/01/2014 5:49 AM
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89 Thanks
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In Response to: Saw this and wanted to share What a lovely post Newbie. Thank you for sharing and well done on a year sober :) Posted: 09/04/2014 6:54 AM
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