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Thoughts?
My AD celebrated her 3 years last night, I drove her and her bf to the meeting. I am trying. This is the original bf that got her hooked on heroin, he is now 13 months clean, and enrolled in College. He let it slip in the car he was moving to Boston with my AD, she started law school this week. I felt the blood drain from my face, a knot form in my stomach and my fits clench on the steering wheel. They have been on and off for 7 years, only off due to his many incarcerations. His parents enabled my daughter when I kicked her out. He seems to be very nice and good to her but I don't know if I can ever get over my feelings. She even mentioned marriage. To too it off after the meeting his transmission blew, I and my AD believe that was a sign from her dead father that he is not happy, transmissions were his business for many many years.
Posted: 09/01/2014 6:19 AM
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In Response to: Thoughts? My thought is she is smart. He seems to be really changing. Although I do beleive it was a sign from your husband!!!! Posted: 09/01/2014 7:42 AM
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322 Thanks
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In Response to: Thoughts? OMG Marty! So sorry about AD BF. I go through the same thing with my AD and her BF (on again off again, I can barely keep up). I love him although he got my daughter hooked and the feelings are mixed with him. At present he is doing well. As far as a sign...without a doubt. I kid you not, I got a sign from my AD deceased dad yesterday...I went into AD room and plugged in a radio that was his, and his favorite song was on, "Heaven let your Light Shine Down" I know he was letting me know he is looking after her...yep a definite sign from her dad!! Posted: 09/01/2014 9:49 AM
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461 Thanks
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In Response to: Thoughts? Perhaps they feel that if they are in a different place, they will be different people with their pasts firmly behind them. BUT "no matter where you go, there you are." I am sorry she is abandoning law school. It is a hard course of study but not as hard as people who've only watched The Paper Chase may think. Posted: 09/01/2014 1:46 PM
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In Response to: Thoughts? Oh no talibabe she is not abandoning law school, he is moving there to be with her. Being a lawyer is her dream and she worked hard to get where she is. I don't think she will let anything get in the way of that. I'm just worrying about all the things that could happen and remembering the pain he put my family through. Posted: 09/01/2014 1:56 PM
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LIFECOACH
1671 Thanks
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In Response to: Thoughts? Yes, those "reminder symptoms", ours or theirs can be tough. You think BF has come a long way, but...there's still that nagging inner voice, a feeling. What are His Plans for Boston, besides rooming with her? I know 2 grad students that moved there. Coming straight out of the sunny, Redwood shrouded UC-Santa Cruz campus, it was quite an adjustment. But maybe I'm just rambling. It could be nothing. Absolutely nothing. Peace & prayers. Posted: 09/01/2014 2:26 PM
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In Response to: Thoughts? Supposedly his plans are to work, getting transfered by the store he works, going to school, all seems good right? Then why does the thought of it scare me to death? Posted: 09/02/2014 5:04 AM
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In Response to: Thoughts? Marty, I have married men that some of my family did not approve of. I did it anyway, and I was taught many lessons. One , today in recovery I have learned to choose someone who is clean and sober, and respectful. Melissa has come a long way, great lengths in recovery...As long as she puts sobriety first she will be ok. Your feelings are justified. Posted: 09/02/2014 5:11 AM
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LIFECOACH
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In Response to: Thoughts? Why are you scared? Because you're a Mother. We have a tool (slogan) in Recovery International that warns against "Excessive Duty & Responsibility". Boy, is that difficult for a parent! And we seem to Always be talking about it here. But we also have, "Take care of the Inner Environment & the Outer Environment will take care of itself". Peace & prayers. Posted: 09/02/2014 12:06 PM
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In Response to: Thoughts? She has done well so far. If he screws up, she will know what to do. Posted: 09/03/2014 6:07 PM
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In Response to: Thoughts? Oh boy, being a parent is the hardest job in the world. From the moment your child is born you do everything you can to protect & nurture. It doesn’t matter how old your child is it’s only natural to worry. Add any past issues, especially addiction and it’s understandable that you have concerns and get reminders of what both you and your daughter have been through. But look at how far shes come and how well she is doing. 3 years into recovery and studying law is a huge achievement. Have you talked to your daughter about the worries you have? Posted: 09/04/2014 6:43 AM
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SITE SUPTR
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SITE SUPTR|
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