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Questioning my reaching out
I'm back. Last I wrote, my son had gotten out of rehab and starting smoking crack again in just a few days. The beat has gone on as before, until a week and a half ago, when he was arrested. A woman was banging on his door, he wouldn't let her in. A neighbor called the police, who came out. The woman began yelling, "He has drugs in there." The police found the drugs and paraphernalia, took him off to jail, and he posted his own bond of $8,000, and was released, to be arraigned in a couple of weeks.
About three weeks ago, I texted him and asked him if he would respond with just a one or two word text if I called him every other day to see if he was okay. I have been doing this every other day, and he has been responding with one or two words, mostly negative, but at least I know he's alive. He doesn't know I know he was arrested, or that I know any details of the arrest. His brother told me, and the rest is public record. My son lives in the south, and I am in Maine, so I don't drive by or do any of the painful things that I did when we all lived in the same town in California. Yesterday, he responded to my text with, "Rehab next week." This will be #7, and it may well be because he thinks the judge will look upon him more kindly if he is showing some attempt at recovery.
My question is: Are my texts, asking him if he is okay and done for my peace of mind, hurting him, or enabling him, preventing him from hitting bottom? I am so grateful for his responses, but most of all, I want him to do what he needs to do to get into recovery. I would so appreciate input on this. Thanks, MM
Posted: 08/24/2015 8:50 PM
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In Response to: Questioning my reaching out I don't think you reaching out in that small way is enabling , and if it gives you peace knowing he is ok, I say don't worry about it. I hope the rehab and the arrest consequences are his bottom. It's up to him as you know. Posted: 08/28/2015 11:57 PM
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In Response to: Questioning my reaching out Posted: 08/28/2015 11:58 PM
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In Response to: Questioning my reaching out I hope that by this time he is indeed in recovery. No matter what his motives are, he learns something every time he goes. Posted: 09/02/2015 5:49 AM
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In Response to: Questioning my reaching out There is no right or wrong here. Do what you need to do for yourself. Your son is on his own. I have done the same with the texts. I do not do it as often, but it is all I want to tolerate with my AD. And yes, I know she is not dead. Some (not on here) have told me that I should not text her at all. IDK. I am really doing what I need to do for myself. Posted: 09/07/2015 9:12 PM
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