Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!
 
1 Thanks
|
SHOULD I WORRY
I need insight. I've been with my amazing husband for ~8 years. He had an Aderall and painkiller addiction (oxycontin, percocet, etc) prior to our relationship, but he turned to alcohol when he lost his source. As of last April, he successfully quit drinking via AA although he wasn't a regular at meetings & never made it through all steps. In other words, the drinking & substance abuse ceased, but his managing addiction...questionable. So for the past seven months, I felt like the fog was clearing. I let down my guard, stopped looking over my shoulder, genuinely trusted him, as i still do. HOWEVER, I was prescribed Percoset post-c-section last month; didn't fill the prescription, & a week went by before he finally broke down & almost begged me to get it ordered. Out of the blue, & it went like this: "I love you...I love you...I love you...I'm so glad I no longer have to hide anything & can be honest...but honey, you have to get that Percocet before it's too late." This went on for a couple minutes, of course followed by "Now I regret being truthful." In shock, I tearfully refused. We have discussed this several times since in my attempts to process everything. What i gathered from our talks is
1. He thinks it's a one-time thing, followed by a couple of depressed days, which he'll "get over".
2. He doesn't feel it will lead to a relapse (with substances or alc.)
3. While he has an addiction to both, he is only interested in abstaining from drinking & that i can't understand how pain pills are better.
4. He thinks it's not a matter to speak with his AA sponsor about, but he'll go to NA even though he hasn't actually used.
There are other points he made that indicate some major denial and compulsion. It's relatively irrelevant. I guess i am looking for an (recovering) addict's perspective on whether or not this is something I should drop or if I should see it as a red flag for future relapse or what. What is this?
Posted: 11/04/2015 7:42 AM
|
|
1 Thanks
|
In Response to: SHOULD I WORRY Thanks, Anna. Believe it or not, I do see the humor in it, as arguing with a tempted addict is much like reasoning with my two year old. For me right now though, i must admit it is nervous laughter; while the crisis may have been averted this time, I now realize (with your input) that our family is in a precarious state without additional support from people (sponsor + other members) who are better suited to call him out on the BS & give a structured response. I am fortunate that he knows enough to look for similarities in others' stories rather than differences. He offered to go to NA to appease me, which is not a good reason to go, but I guess this situation does call for it after all... Posted: 11/04/2015 2:35 PM
|
In Response to: SHOULD I WORRY In AA and NA meetings he will learn that if he is not actively working on recovery then he is working on a relapse. I would also recommend Alanon or Naranon for you. Read articles about Boundaries, and Helping Vs. Enabling on the internet/youtube. And keep posting here. Your experience helps others. Posted: 11/08/2015 3:37 PM
|
|
Received 0 Thanks for this Post
SITE SUPTR|
|
|