Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!

So, I am a drug addict. My drug of choice was prescription pain medication. I have 42 days clean and have been faithfully attending NA meetings, have a sponsor and am doing intensive stepwork. I'm very serious about my recovery. My husband didn't know I was using when I told him about my addiction. I told him because I knew it was out of control and I needed help. He admitted at that time that he was an alcoholic and he agreed to stop drinking when I stopped using. He has been going to AA meetings but does not have a sponsor yet, nor is he doing stepwork. I knew in the past that he has had issues with drugs but to be quite honest, it was the drinking that had become an issue. The other day, I went downstairs and noticed that it smelled like marijuana. So Monday when he went to work, I searched for it. I found about $100 worth along with a baggie full of oxycodone and methadone. I confiscated his stash and wrote him a letter explaining all the ways I was hurt by his choice to use drugs and how hard it was for me, a recovering addict, to find those drugs. I am furious that they were in our house - we have a 17 year old, 12 year old, 7 year old and a baby. If I could find them so easily, so could they. He admitted that he had been stealing the pills from his mother. In retrospect, I realize we should have addressed the drug addiction when we addressed his drinking as he'd taken my Percocet following my c-section and I noticed he was stealing my Ritalin so I did know there was a problem.

So, my question in this... It's been 5 days and he's still not talking to me. I told him that I'd destroyed his stash and he wasn't getting it back. Now I'm wondering if the right thing to do isn't to give it back to him and let him make the decision about what to do with it. Marital discord is a huge trigger for me and I'm struggling with wanting to use because we're not getting along. I'm trying to find a NA meeting to go to tonight as my sponsor is out of town this weekend.

Any advice?

Posted: 03/25/2016 4:41 PM

Received 3 Thanks for this Post

do what you said you did: destroy the stash.  That, in a very small way makes you honest, with yourself.  Really, it is your addiction speaking to you, convincing you that you need to hold onto his stash, just in case.  Just in case you need  just one.  Plus, marital discord?  Marital accord cant happen when partners are lying to each other.

My two cents: destroy the stash. Focus on yourself.

Posted: 04/06/2016 7:55 PM

Received 1 Thanks for this Post

Posted: 04/10/2016 11:42 PM

Received 1 Thanks for this Post