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selfish and prideful
why are addicts selfish and prideful? My husband is an addict to meth and porn. I had no idea while we were dating but soon after we married began to notice some things, behaviors I didn't like. When I confronted him about it he says its no big deal, he can quit it at anytime. He says hes a big boy he knows what hes doing. After he participates using with his friends when we comes home his attitude and behavior is different. At first he tries to act normal until I realize what he's been doing and say something about it he becomes argumentative, yells, slanderous, f this and f that and f you. obviously there isn't any communication between us ever. When hes on it hes up for days, doing whatever he wants to do. Not thinking about anyone else but his self. Sometimes when I confront him about a situation he gets aggressive. Sometimes when I simply disagree with him about anything he gets angry and yells. He says things to me such as woman u submit, or woman im the leader of this house, or God speaks to me and tells me how to b the leader of this home and if you don't submit to me then you aren't obeying God. But that's not true because he is using his leadership position in a lording over his wife way. Instead of walking in the truth of Gods word and love and kindness. He likes to blame me for his behaivor, he says if u would start respecting me i will start loving you. Therefore since we have no communication. Because of his choices to use and participate with his friends I have a hard time trusting him, his word, his leadership, etc. Were going on 4 years now and I have finally decided to give ultimatum and he flipped out and demanded he will not divorce me or sign the papers, but is willing to go to counseling. We went one time to celebrate recovery haven't been since. And no change has occurred just empty promises. When its time to do the hard work to get clean and stay clean theres always a reason why nows not a good time to. Unfortunately what kept me still in the marriage was because I still loved him even though his behavior showed me his lack of love towards me. But seriously change desperately needs to occur or I'm calling it quits finally. Because I'm tired of dealing with it.
Posted: 07/04/2016 3:29 PM
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In Response to: selfish and prideful His addiction is taking over. It will only get worse. That is the natural progression of the disease of addiction. Unless he stops, he will get worse. And worse. You have waited for him to change. He hasn't. An ultimatum wont change his behavior. However, give yourself an ultimatum...if he is not radically different by...Then I will do ...for me. You are not the cause of his addiction, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it. Do what you need to do to take care of your own needs, and if that means leave him, then do what you gotta do. Posted: 08/29/2016 1:08 AM
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In Response to: selfish and prideful That relationship will kill you. He has to want help. Ultimatum is good but you must follow through. Nobody deserves the abuse, and an addict is very good at it when u are threatening taking away what they think they need and love. There drug. Posted: 09/01/2016 7:48 AM
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In Response to: selfish and prideful I was a very strong Christian in a very bad marriage to an abusive alcoholic. It was pointed out to me that the verse in the old testament that says God hates divorce is followed in the next few verses with the fact that he hates it, but he allows it because of sin. God doesnt expect you to stay in an abusive relationship. But he does expect you to take care of yourself. It sounds like your husband is trying to use Christianity to guilt you into staying and putting up with his behavior. I can't tell you what to do, just giving my opinion.
Posted: 09/01/2016 8:36 PM
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