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Confessions

This is the place to get it all out! Tell us what's on your mind. What's the worst thing you've done for your addiction? What's the worst thing that's happened to you because of your addiction? How have you been affected because of someone else's addiction? How has your life as an addict affected the ones you love? Reading and writing these confessions help us realize the impact that the addictions have over all of us. When posting your confession, you can choose to remain anonymous or let others see your profile name as to bring about discussions.

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Talibabe 461 Thanks

SCAPEGOATING - trying to understand For once, I am not talking about addicts here but about people who get involved with addicts, drunks, narcissists etc. I have heard (don't know where) that there is some sort of movement in the psychiatric community to identify as a mental disorder the condition of people who have been involved with the above "usual suspects," to identify their (our?) common characteristics and presumably to set out some sort of guidelines for their (our?) treatment. I have also heard that if you can name something you can control it. So thinking about myself, as I so often do, I come to the topic of scapegoating and the young child. A family court services mediator once told me that children up to a certain age believe that anything bad that happens is their own fault. For example, while you're at school, the dog is hit by a car -- the child's fault. More critically to a family court services mediator, the parents get divorced -- the child's fault. I actually saw this one: Mom leaves her purse unattended in the grocery cart and someone swipes it -- the child's fault. Mother started screaming at her crippled about 12-year-old that everything was his fault. Her boy was limping after her saying "Mother, I'm sorry." I almost fainted I got so anxious. Did you know there's nowhere to sit down and put your head between your knees at a Target store? Look around next time. For whatever reason, some people are trained to be scapegoats (and here's where I get to the point) and are prepared later on to take the blame for other people's sorrows with certain consequences. I am so eager to see if the next Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) sets out the recipe for that kind, my kind of psychological cooking. Cause I only know a few of my ingredients to this day. also, can you imagine the big drug companies coming out with a target anti-depressant for co-dependents and scapegoats? A pill would make things so much easier. The Serenity Prayer and talk therapy are so slow-acting. If there's a genetic component to accepting the scapegoat role in life, there may be hope from stem cell research... I am going off the deep end here, but if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at? But do others see a scapegoat/co-dependent connection? I should add here that in general and except for being unhappy a lot, we co-dependents are awfully nice, the salt of the earth, really. Posted: 06/05/2014 9:48 AM Received 3 Thanks for this Post

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