Confessions
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About a mother, about a son
Good news, bad news. My mother has finally been re-located to a nursing dementia facility that is closer to her old neighborhood. She is showing less rage toward her partner in life (they moved in together a bit over ten years ago when they were 80 and 81 years old). This makes his spirits soar and he may be visiting her more often than before. She is part of a population of people closer to her stage of dementia, that is, no one goes out without a companion, basically a locked ward. And this I am grateful for. Pathetic, no? But old age is not for sissies. She is still medicated in the mornings to control her aggression.
Here's the confession part: I still can't stop trying to rescue my son. I just can't. Not only is he still living in our house, he comes over for dinner almost every night AND we are about to give him a 2003 car, too. But he seems to be improving a bit. He's gotten warnings at work about being late and I think that he is getting to work on time. Once there, I gather he performs well. His father has the same problem with time and space, that is, neither recognizes that it takes time to get through space, so they're always late to everything. Also, he no longer is smoking pot; he has replaced it with something called an e-pen. People trying to give up tobacco use these, but he uses it instead of smoking pot. It's hash based and he probably is buying it from a medical marijuana dispensary. His sugar has been at 97 in the morning for over a week, which is typical for someone with a functioning pancreas. What kind of doctor gives a Type 1 diabetic a script for grass? But at least he is not consorting with the worst sort of dealer to get high, someone who might urge him to try crack or cocaine. So I am still hoping to be an exception to the general experience that rescuing doesn't work. In spite of everything. I know better, but I just can't let go. Because my mother's well being is no longer in peril, I feel optimistic and generally less depressed. I have started sleeping through the night although I do get up early to worry.
Posted: 06/14/2014 7:54 AM
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