Confessions
This is the place to get it all out! Tell us what's on your mind. What's the worst thing you've done for your addiction? What's the worst thing that's happened to you because of your addiction? How have you been affected because of someone else's addiction? How has your life as an addict affected the ones you love? Reading and writing these confessions help us realize the impact that the addictions have over all of us. When posting your confession, you can choose to remain anonymous or let others see your profile name as to bring about discussions.
 
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everything seems to be falling apart
I am trying so hard to put the pieces of my life back together. I know this distruction was a slowly creeping process and it will not be fixed overnight, but darn it is so bad. I guess my eyes are just finally seeing how messed up it all is. I am still waiting to hear about my full time job. My marriage is in such bad shambles that I do not know if I even want to stay in it. My lil girl who I have tried to shelter is becoming aware of her siblings addiction issues and it is getting harder to keep it all under the rug. I try not to talk about things too much because "normal" people do not want to hear a person be a drag all of the time. I am not happy at all. I see other kids my AD age who are marrying, finishing college, getting their first apartments, etc and I have to be greatful for her just breathing another day How bad I want her to live, really live. I try to enjoy things and I find that when I get a glimpse of joy it is so fleeting. My and Hubbies finances are horrible because of all that was taken from us we are in forclosure. I do not want my house to be taken from us. I am so tired of lifes struggles. I get so angry sometimes when I see everyone else happily going through life. Yes I know everyone has something bad going on but with us it is pouring in all directions. It is all just crumbling in around me. My husband has been a miserable thing from years back and yea I can say he is going through a lot too but he has so many excuses to not try and be a part of what is left of the family. I am just hoping to hear about a job, get me out of the house, catch up on bills, and have something to put aside for myself just in case I want to divorce. I am toooo old to keep waiting for the titanic to turn around that is for sure. It is sinking and fast. I need to grab a life boat and hang on for dear life. I am increasingly growing aware that I am not selfish as I have given all to 2 people that have rung me dry due to their own issues, and I have allowed it. My marriage being one and addicted child the other. I have to get ME happy and create my own happiness, I am getting older and NEED to find peace in MY life and not worry so much about others, they are responsible for them and I do not have to accept not take part in their misery!
Posted: 07/15/2014 1:57 PM
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