Confessions

Well friends, I am a teacher.  The school year creshendos, and becomes crazy, and now, Monday is my last day.  Ill be able to catch up on everyone's posts and catch you up on my life with my daughter's addiction. In short, she supposedly has gone to a suboxone clinic. She called yesterday and on one hour notice, asked my husband for a ride to a clinic 45 min away in a neighboring state, and 90 dollars for the doctor. Uh-uh. been there before and she took the money and did not pay the DR. and took the suboxone and sold it and bought more heroin.  So her dad said NO.  She begged, blah blah blah.  Then gave up.  Later she texted that an older gentleman named B paid the 90 and paid 120 for the suboxone, bc he was the only one who cared enough to try to save her.

OMG.  I texted back to her: Only you and God can save you.  I learned this the hard way by spending ten years of my life trying to save you, and you werent interested. Get into a long term program-one of the free ones (I sent her a list of free programs a while back, and a while back before that).

She did not respond.

I do well these days when I have an interaction with her, at the time of the interaction.  Then the mess of her life sinks in and hits me square...and I get so sad.  I had nightmares all last night.  I am OK now, sad, but not like last night. I believe she is dying, and she did text that to me last night, that she had to change because she is dying.  I have heard this from her before, so I have little faith that she will actually stop using, and do the work it will take to maintain sobriety.

Thank you for listening.

Posted: 06/06/2014 7:24 PM

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