Have Questions About Addiction? Ask an Addict!

 I wrote a week or so ago about my 45-yo son smoking crack after leaving rehab just 2 days before.  At the brokerage where he and I both have accounts, my broker phoned two days ago to subtly let me know that my son has now begun taking money from his nest egg.  This account has everything that he has saved from a sale of his home on the west coast.  My broker/friend said that my son called last week and was barely coherent.  Apparently, he phoned again from another number two days ago, and after listening to the message 4 times, my broker/friend said he couldn't understand a word of what was said, and couldn't even be sure it was my son (although we're both certain it was.  My question is:  Should we look into a conservatorship so that he can't get ahold of his money, depleting everything he has guarded so safely?  Or, do we let go and let him destroy this last piece of his life?  I so fear that letting him "hit his financial bottom" will be his last act on this earth.  He has always been financially conservative and very responsible with his money.  I have been trying so hard to keep him out of the forefront of my mind, but this news has railroaded me again.

Thank you, Maine Mom

 

 

 

Hello to all you wonderful people! I have been busy, both my parents failing health..my dad at 88 just had a craniotomy because of a giant hematoma on his brain. AD was in an excellent dual diagnosis program and it seemed to have made all the difference (see what I did there-seemed). He was released on a medication regimen, Medicaid (finally) and plans to return to his sober house that he was pitched out of for disappearing without explanation. Of course, he talked me into letting him stay with us until a bed became available. He was given strict rules but simple ones. Participate in a recovery program, no drinking or using, get a job and turn over the paycheck until all court & state fees are cleared & drivers license is restored. I wanted to believe all was going according to plan. I told him I wasn't going to search his room or follow him around..We trusted he was as good as his word this time. We even took him on vacation and when we found a bottle in his luggage (his "just in case" bottle) we didn't freak out..just calmly asked him to spill it out. I knew that this was the end for us..I wanted to be sure I would always know I truly did all I could. We returned and put up with another month of lies, (fake job again) manipulation, stealing, then fighting, threats, childish behavior and of course, obvious evidence of his using and told him we had to make a new plan. He asked to go back to his street friends who "care" about him and so that is where he is now. He did go back to a rehab but he has been harassing me with phone calls from there (I don't answer usually-he leaves horrible messages). He says he is calling me tomorrow to "end things" and to tell me why his life choices are our fault. Then he plans on ending our relationship forever..or so he says. He is well over 28...I can't believe this is still going on. His best friend is a dangerous felon who thinks we owe AD money..we are afraid he will come looking to collect. Thanks for listening...I see a counselor now who specializes in addiction..she has helped tremendously. I am at peace with letting him go..I don't see him or give him anything anymore. I am hoping he means what he says about exiting my life..there's no more I can do for him..

I haven't been here for a while, and I'm hoping that I can gain some comfort as I did in the past. My son (45 yo) just got out of rehab for the 6th time. Before he went in this time, it was crack for a month, during which time he lost 25 pounds, and after entering rehab we learned he was also addicted to benzos. His brother told me his skin was gray, and the bones in his face jutted out. He was frightened because unlike when he lived in California, where the dealers were genteel folk, he was involved with a rough group of thugs for his crack in North Carolina. They came to his house and partied, shot up heroin (which he says he has never done), and in general left their mark. So, my addict son got out of rehab, went to live two hours away from where he still has a rental duplex, and supposedly is living with a fellow from the rehab. His brother says he keeps telling him (texting) that he will call him "tomorrow," when his brother texts him to see how he's doing. The conclusion is that he's using again. I cannot step away and shed this feeling of guilt and sadness. I believe that because I married a man who didn't want children and ignored my sons, that somehow that made my addict become one. Our lifestyle was comfortable as a result of that marriage, both of my sons were well-educated, and loved and cared for by me and their grandparents. Their stepfather didn't abuse them in any overt way - he just ignored them for the most part. I am suffering so much because my addict son can't stop using, I feel to blame, and I keep thinking he has no choice but to use, that he is a slave and can't say no to drugs. Can someone help me? Thank you.

Came back from 6 months in Fla rehab still using. My son went to court for stealing from my house and drug position in my house. He crossed boundaries we had set up after is winter in rehab. The judge told him to get a Kaydak evaluation for a court ordered long term rehab instead of jail time. He missed the first one the judge ordered because an enabling Aunt bailed him out of jail and he went back to a rehab in FLA? He is back in CT and he has 1 month before his next court he has to pass two DT a week get his kaydak evaluation and get into a IOP. He in in a sober house at this time and seems to be focused on staying clean and out of jail. My wife thinks he needs a lawyer not a public defender? I think that would just piss the judge off at this point and he may loose the chance at the Long term rehab order that the PD and the court psychologist is working to get him into. I feel we cant and shouldn't buy his troubles away, but I'm afraid what jail might turn him into

Came back from 6 months in Fla rehab still using. My son went to court for stealing from my house and drug position in my house. He crossed boundaries we had set up after is winter in rehab. The judge told him to get a Kaydak evaluation for a court ordered long term rehab instead of jail time. He missed the first one the judge ordered because an enabling Aunt bailed him out of jail and he went back to a rehab in FLA? He is back in CT and he has 1 month before his next court he has to pass two DT a week get his kaydak evaluation and get into a IOP. He in in a sober house at this time and seems to be focused on staying clean and out of jail. My wife thinks he needs a lawyer not a public defender? I think that would just piss the judge off at this point and he may loose the chance at the Long term rehab order that the PD and the court psychologist is working to get him into. I feel we cant and shouldn't buy his troubles away, but I'm afraid what jail might turn him into

short article on how legal short term opiate/opiod use by pregnant mothers results in addiction syndrome for babies.  Highlights the dangerousness of opiates/opiods. Next question I have: are these children neurologically predisposed to develop addiction? Based on current reserch in addiction, They are.

http://news.vanderbilt.edu/2015/04/vanderbilt-study-finds-babies-exposed-to-narcotic-pain-relievers-more-likely-to-experience-drug-withdrawal-syndrome/