Creative Corner

I read about Tangled's dream so I decided to share a dream I had a couple of days ago, before all the sh*t hit the fan at my house. I rarely dream and if I do I rarely remember much. I was driving my other two non addict kids and I was about to make a left and my daughter was not patient and jumped out of the van and ran in front of a car and got hit. It was bad, the ambulance came and they wouldn't go, I begged she was dying, and finally they said they had to go to a farther hopital then the one down the street. Then I was at the hospital with my dying daughter in my arms and no one would help, they ingored my crying and pleading. It doesn't take a Doctor to tell me what that dream meant. My subconcious was telling me what my concious mind couldn't admit.

Have you ever been so mad at someone that you could just throw a dart at them? I have and still am. There are days I could just throw darts at Trevor's face all day long! He broke my heart, took my things and money, and somehow became the crap on the bottom of my shoe I cant scrape off.

While telling my friend how mad I was. She was agreeing that sometimes angry letters that you dont send and crying into a bucket of ice cream dont help. Sometimes you need to get the anger and fustration out! Thats where punching bags, boxing, kick boxing and that clown that keeps coming up when you hit him sometimes help.

For all you angry, hurt women who like me, cant eat another scoop of ice cream without risking your hips and your all cried out. Have a laugh!! Get one of these!

http://www.photodarts.com/default.aspx

In sobriety 12 steps are better than a elevator because the steps always work, elevators break down, the 12 steps dont

I'm all about quotes with some kind of meaning.  Here are 8 quotes that have stuck with me and have made me think. I hope you can get something out of them too!

- You will never become who you want to be by remaining who you are

- If you're going to have obsessive thoughts, make them postive ones

- If you are stuck in your head, go for a walk. Move your body to move your mind.

- Eat something new. Go somewhere different. Talk to a stranger. Say yes before you can even think no.

- If we held on to our imperfections, we'd never let anything go.

- Our brains appreciate hardwork. Food tastes better if we earn it.

- Today unlike tomorrow is here now.

- You can complain about what's on your plate, or you can be thankful you have a plate to complain about.

I "Borrowed" this philosophy from a friend. It pretty well sums up some things that work for me.

"How To Swim With The Sharks And Not End Up On A Seafood Pizza" (abbreviated version)

1. Be Honest.

Every lie I've told I cost me another little piece of myself. Becoming honest with others was one of the first things I learned when I began to work a program. Honesty uncomplicated my life tremendously. No more trying to remember what I told this person and that person. More importantly I began to develop a sense of integrity that I had forgotten about.

Self honesty is more challenging but I've learned through the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous how to take my own inventory and see when I'm manipulating and self seeking. God isn't finished with yet and the theme for my recovery is "Continuous Improvement" rather than "Mission Accomplished".

2. Faith.

I have learned to trust in a power greater than myself. People don't Always do what I want them to and life happens. I have experienced great joy and great sorrow, it's all part of the deal.

3. Commitment.

I have learned that freedom comes from being committed. I committed to NA and found freedom from active addiction. I committed to my marriage and found the freedom to love and be loved. I committed to being a Dad and have experienced the greatest joys of life as well as some big disappointments.

I jump in with both feet and if I get hurt I'll deal with it. Usually the pain is not as bad as wondering what might have happened if I had gone for it.

4. Forgiveness.

I made all of my amends and found forgiveness of self, the greatest gift of all.

5. Be a Giver.

I say this prayer: God please take all of my defects of character that stand in the way of serving you today. Use me as an instrument of your will and let me give back what has been given to me. I find many opportunities during the day to be of service to my family, friends, and the newcomer.

6. Have Fun.

Don't take everything so serious, ride without your helmet, get laid, enjoy each day as it is a gift.

The Four Agreements are powerful in their simplicity. For those starting out on a personal growth path, following The Four Agreements and implementing them in your life can be an excellent practice. With practice these agreements become integrated into your being and every area of your life and become easy habits to keep.

Everything you do is based on agreements you have made. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what everyone else is, how to act, what is possible, and what is impossible. What you have agreed to believe creates what you experience. When these agreements come from fear, blocks and obstacles develop keeping you from realizing your greatest potential.

The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word.

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions.

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best.

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I loved you enough to try to have you for 7 years

I loved you enough to video every moment of your life

I loved you enough to stop working to be home after school

I loved you enough to be present at every school play, concert, meeting, and even took over the talent show when nobody else would

I loved you enough to take over you Girl Scout Troop

I loved you enough to take over you softball team

I loved you enough to go on vacations with you, listen to you, be there for you

I loved you enough to let you express your interest in piano, guitar.

I loved you enough to send you to therapy when you needed it

I loved you enough to send you to rehab when you were dying

I loved you enough to kick you out of the house to wake you up

The addict in you whispers in your ear, I don't love you

I love you enough not to listen to the addict

 Ok.. so im very bored and decided to make a recovery Fantasy Story.. so here we go..

   Ounce apon a time Pirate Family has a newborn child named Rosco. Rosco parents where not the very parents everyone wishes to dream about today. They go around exploring the sea invading other boats to steal the treasure's and drugs on the boat. Rosco was learning these habbits poor young child grew quickly like the parents. One day these big evil large huge monster pirates who took allot of steroids knocked down the boat of Rosco parents because the Parents did something to these other pirates cousins. Ohh.. nooo Rosco parents where killed in the tragedy of a mini drug war. Rosco now without any parents and now living with steroid people was the worst of his dreams. One day they landed in the island called "Carpenter's Island". These Huge pirates tied up rosco on the boat and watch them walk away into this shack on the beach. The Huge Pirates traded all the goods for drugs from the sight of Rosco. However Jack from the pirate of the carribean" was hiding around the corner and saved the day by untieing Rosco to be free from the pirate drug life.

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Back round noise " WOOOHOOO go JACK"

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 Rosco met this carpenter on the island while browsing around with jack. Carpenter showed rosco the basics of making furniture and trusting this human being. Carpenter realtionship with rosco grew and started to build big things over the years. Jack went to make another film. Rosco building houses at this point and the carpenter passed away. Rosco was now the head of the island living the good life.

I didn't really go over it so i hope it made sense thank you for letting me share

Started Minute at a time to Hour at a time for the first couple days. Together Meeting more and more people grabbing a network brought us through a day at a time becuase that all we got. Today I volunteer to stay clean because i know if i pick up my next drug or drink it will bring me to the same path i started from and instantly the pain will triple with everything around me if i choose to use. Today might be a Sad,Great,Horrible day but at the end of the day if i don't use its an succesfull day. Taking it just for a day started to be hard herion addict to 6 months later working at a bank local. Its just amazing what this program can do you if you can just put your heart into it :-) No matter what today i wont pick up the next drug!